


A dog's home (is where its heart is)

by Technomancer28



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Lots of Sex, M/M, UST, past Sirius/Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 01:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6634864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Technomancer28/pseuds/Technomancer28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moving on is hard but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It only takes a Lupin and nineteen years for Sirius to realise this. A detailed account of letting go of one love for another, of finding his home in the arms of a different Lupin again.<br/>Prompt: Teddy is a werewolf. Sirius helps him through his transformations just like he did for Remus many years ago.<br/>Written for the hprarefest 2014.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A dog's home (is where its heart is)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you digthewriter for the beta work and youcantseeus for leaving the prompt!

Teddy's skin at the nape of his neck is smooth under Sirius's fingers. Soft, unlike some of the rougher patches, results of Quidditch and transformations. Sirius can't help rubbing the pad of his thumb slowly as Teddy leans into the touch in his sleep.  
  
The quiet of the morning is nothing new but having a warm body, a willing one and somebody he so obviously cares about ends up shrouding Sirius in a blanket of melancholy. He's been alive and close to dead too many times to know that this blissful state is only the calm before the storm, if he wants to put it in words like Remus used to. He tangles his hand in Teddy's brown hair to stop himself from clinging to the boy.  
  
He misses Remus.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
"—don't understand it but it's a good thing right?"  
  
"Look, I know you're worried, but he hasn't shown any signs of violence as of yet, has he?"  
  
"I did everything I could; the hospital also cleared him as completely normal. No problems at all."  
  
"Could you not talk about it like that, Hermione? Or should I be worried about you calling him ‘abnormal' if he turned to a wolf tomorrow night." Teddy pauses in passing the kitchen, nibbling on the head of a mushroom; Auntie Hermione says that he is ‘obsessed' with those little things. What did she expect? Mushrooms are _wonderful_! The door is closed but he stops as he hears an unfamiliar voice.  
  
"No, of course—"  
  
"Okay, no need to get your knickers in a twist!"  
  
Teddy smiles as he hears Uncle Ron's loud voice and makes sure to knock on the door to the kitchen; he does know not to forget his manners or Granny will be so mad. There is a pause after which the door opens and Uncle Harry appears.  
  
"Teddy?" He asks and then smiles at the five-year old like he is the most precious child ever, motioning him to enter. There isn't any need for it though, the aroma of baked goods wafts right into his nose and coaxes Teddy forward to look at the table where he find an unknown man sitting beside Uncle Ron. He looks like somebody who Uncle Ron watches on TV shouting and singing sometimes. And he is staring at Teddy unblinkingly.  
  
"Oh! Teddy, darling." He turns to Auntie Hermione who is standing beside the table, "did you just come back from school?" Teddy nods, suddenly feeling strange as the unknown man continues staring at him.  
  
"Everything great?" Harry asks and Teddy smiles knowing what is coming, "Did you try not to get into any trouble?"  
  
"I did," he replies as he shrugs off his school bag and places it on one of the chairs around the dining table before looking up at his godfather. "But Benny stole our lunchbox." ‘Our' meaning Teddy, Tony and Thomas. Auntie Hermione has her arms crossed.  
  
"I—it's not like I did it," Teddy exclaims and then grins sheepishly, "I mean, I did but it was kind of an accident." He hears his godfather sigh as he sits down beside him.  
  
"And, what is ‘kind of an accident'?" Harry asks anyway and Teddy smiled toothily as he remembers the expression of Benny's disgust as he opened lunch boxes after lunch boxes only to find mushroom sandwiches, noodles with mushrooms, muffins topped with mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms dipped in chocolate sauce. He giggles as he recounts it to them.  
  
"Teddy." Hermione immediately says exasperatedly, "you know you're not supposed to do magic—"  
  
"In front of Muggles, yeah yeah. He knows," Ron interrupts before turning to wink at Teddy, "It is all an accident." Auntie Hermione glares at Uncle Ron; he will surely be in so much trouble. The strange man chuckles.  
  
"So you're the Teddy everyone's been talking about?" he finally asks and Teddy has to look at him apprehensively even if he is smiling; there is something about him. "It's finally great to see you in person." Teddy nods but looks away shyly. People did not talk to him like that.  
  
"That was seriously a neat bit of accidental magic there," the man tells him and Teddy blushes at the praise. It had been accidental magic but Auntie Hermione had also stopped Uncle Harry from buying mushrooms for two whole weeks!  
  
"Thank you," he replies earnestly and his hair turns to a shade of pink and then brown and to pink again. The man's eyes widen and Teddy wishes he could burrow a hole under the table and disappear; he had forgotten how new people reacted to his ‘meta—meta—phor?—gagus'.  
  
"You're welcome, Teddy," the man says and then leans forward as he holds out his hand with a brilliant smile that transforms his face, "Sirius Black. But you can call me Padfoot, if you like." Teddy's eyes go round as he holds out his hand with a squeak.  
  
"You're daddy's friend! The dog-man!" The answering bark of laughter rings out among everybody else's and Teddy is really quite happy that he is not the only strange boy.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
It turns out that Padfoot can be quite a troublemaker even at his age. Teddy doesn't wish to see his grandmother's angry face again in his life; she had been furious when she found out that Padfoot had taken him for a motorcycle ride.  
  
  
It didn't help when Teddy had interrupted saying that they had both had helmets on.  
  
No more rides for him but still, Padfoot is actually very cool even when he is just talking. It is a pain to have to look up at his face but he always has such open expressions and the best stories to tell about daddy that Teddy bears the cricks in his neck without much complaints.  
  
The only time Teddy does not want to go out with Sirius is on Saturdays; he wants to go to Uncle Harry's house for the Power Rangers back-to-back reruns. Gramma always sighs before leaving him with young James in front of the telly.  
  
He knows about his mum from his grandmother but she sometimes cries afterwards so he has stopped asking her often. But Daddy, daddy had been such a naughty young boy in school! The things he had done.  
  
"You're shaping up to be just like your dad, Teddy," Sirius tells him with a wonderful smile as they sit one fine Saturday on Uncle Harry's blue sofa. Teddy thinks it is really the best compliment he has ever had after the one time when his teacher had admired his drawing of a dragon and hung it on the bulletin board below the ‘Artist of the month'.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
The first time Teddy visits his father's grave, he is five and holds Harry's hand tightly as his palms dampen. They visit in July but the heat does not penetrate Teddy's body at all.  
  
He saw his mother's grave with Gramma in the morning. It's a pretty grave, covered in flowers. His mother had been pretty too.  
  
But Daddy's grave is not like hers. It's lonely and barren. When he stands in front of it, the hopelessness and gloom settle down heavily on his little heart finally as he realises that this is where his parents are. He will never see them.  
  
And then he is crying in his hand in heart wrenching sobs because he will never get to call anybody 'mum' or 'daddy' because they are gone. Uncle Harry wraps his arms around his heaving shoulders and Teddy clings to him as he empties his heart and tires his eyes out.  
  
"Do you know who that is beside your dad, Teddy?" Uncle Harry asks as they sit in front of the graves, Teddy in Harry's lap. Teddy doesn't so he sniffles and says 'no'.  
  
Uncle Harry smiles sadly.  
  
"That's my dad. And that's my mum beside him, Teddy. They were best friends." Teddy stops and pulls back to see tears in uncle Harry's eyes but he doesn't cry like Teddy. Like a baby.  
  
Uncle Harry conjures a few flowers and hands them to Teddy, instructing him to place it on his daddy's grave. Teddy does as he is told but then looks at the graves beside and places a flower on each of them.  
  
They leave, walking hand in hand but Teddy turns his head to glimpse at his father's grave once again.  
  
It doesn't look so sad anymore.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Sirius finds it easier to invest his time and abundance of money into something as mundane as business transactions although setting up his own antique shop is actually not mundane in any way.  
  
It had been Ron's words, a careless comment about how all the ‘useless bits of nonsense' would sell for thousands and if he was in Sirius's place…  
  
But Sirius had stopped listening as the idea had taken hold and he had found himself working on any residual dark magic before he could rid himself of all the things he did not honestly need; what is he supposed to do with all the pronged cutlery anyway?  
  
He does not find much time to think of anybody and since everybody is busy with their own lives anyway, it hardly matters. When the pang of loneliness stabs, he forces them away to concentrate on the business mail.  
  
On an evening like today's however, Sirius sits and broods in his newly furnished house that is too big even for his preference after being locked in Azkaban for twelve years.  
  
Going back to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place is always emotionally exhausting; especially now more than ever since every part of the house has been acquainted with Remus in his memories.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
His godson has never looked so happy; he looks positively radiant, twirling the red-headed woman of his dreams around in dance moves with a natural grace, some thanks to Sirius's teaching. A Beetles song starts playing.  
  
With the wine muddling his head it is almost too easy to blink and have them turn to James and Lily, glowing in their happiness. It makes the person at the corner of the room look like Alice Longbottom laughing at Peter's jokes when he had been a friend and the hand on his arm from the man beside him like Remus's. He shakes his head to clear it because the more he indulges the more maudlin everything becomes.  
  
"Hello there, Charlie." The younger man loosens his bowtie with a glance around the room for his mother before grinning at Sirius.  
  
"It's a happy occasion, Sirius. Try looking a little less miserable for Harry's sake." He sips his wine roughly as he passes an appreciative glance towards a woman passing by. "I'd heard you used to be the life of the party once." That was _once_. Sirius is about to make a scathing remark when a blur of white comes knocking against his knees and he almost tips his glass.  
  
"Padfoot!" It takes Sirius a few moments to realise that the small figure clutching his knees is Teddy, his long fringe is blonde and has been slicked back, and he has gotten slightly chubby again; it seems that Harry has been sneaking him mushrooms again.  
  
"Hello, Teddy. Missed me, did you, kid?" He sounds teasing and honestly does not expect the affirmative reply from Teddy.  
  
"Tori tore my bowtie!" Teddy complains tearfully to Sirius right away as he turns his head back to glare at the blonde girl who is growing tall quite fast. Charlie chuckles beside him before bending to talk to him.  
  
"Well, bear, that makes you one lucky thing, doesn't it? Bowties are for girls," he adds in a conspiratorial whisper and Teddy thinks on it but throws a dark look at Victoire when she arrives, looking haughty.  
  
"It was a mistake, Teddy. We were playing," she tells Sirius and Charlie both. Teddy still looks saddened and Sirius wonders if the boy actually likes being all smartened up, he certainly hadn't at that age. Still, nobody had a right to make Remus's son feel this way so he directs all his attention towards her.  
  
"Victoire, how would you feel if Teddy ‘accidentally' tore your hairband or this—" he motions to the delicate frill of her dress, "—hmm?" Victoire's expression changes and she begins looking slightly sorry. Not good enough. "I'm talking to you, Victoire."  
  
"I—I wouldn't like it," she replies and chews the inside of her cheeks before turning to Teddy, "Teddy, I'm sorry." She holds out the torn purple cloth and Teddy takes it forlornly.  
  
"'S okay," he says even though it is not and Sirius whips his wand out. Within a second the bowtie is perfect and both the children stare at it in amazement before their faces break into large smiles and Teddy throws himself at Sirius's legs again.  
  
"Thanks, Padfoot," he says with bright eyes before tugging Victoire by the hand and towards the play-area outside.  
  
"And this is the proof that Fudge has been wrong about you being the mass-murderer all along," Charlie says teasingly and Sirius scowls even as he blushes.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? I'm sure you're positively dying to let that dragon of yours out tonight?" Charlie laughs at that and waggles his eyebrows as they make their way to the dance floor.  
  
"Are you offering? I'm sure you're great in bed but I like my women as they are-without a—" he makes a motion with his hand that has Sirius snorting before they part and he steals Ginny away from Harry.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Sirius finds it surreal even as he is holding that little bundle, being what is the closest thing to a grandfather to it- _him_ -along with Arthur. The weight of the baby has him remembering Harry as a bundle wrapped in white as if it was yesterday and now here he is, holding Harry's son.  
  
Everyone in the family tries to come and see the new addition to the family and Sirius feels suddenly withdrawn as the Weasleys surround the three Potters, he feels like somebody on the outside looking in.  
  
He is standing behind the rest of the family, leafing through a maternal magazine that has him going green when the gaggle of young children falls through the door and Teddy and Victoire race to reach the new baby.  
  
Everything is going fine and the buzz of conversation as Sirius gets included in it; until Teddy asks to hold little James Sirius.  
  
"I have a new brother," he says with a smile that blinds the room, wonder colouring his voice as he is carefully allowed to cradle the baby boy and he kisses one pink little cheek, "he is _so_ small." He looks up at Harry as if to confirm it and the man affirms it before taking his new born son in his own hand.  
  
"But Teddy, he is not your brother," Victoire pipes up from behind him. Her tone is not malicious at all, just a child voicing out the truth without understanding its consequence but the adults still the moment the words are out and in the next second there are tears leaking from Teddy's wide eyes as he stares silently at Victoire.  
  
Sirius steps forward but Teddy springs up from the bed and makes a mad dash for the door. By the time the rest of the children notice anything amiss and Molly calls for him, he is already out and Sirius has an unusual urge to teach the prissy, little Veela a lesson in manners. Instead he nods to Harry who looks distressed and goes after the boy.  
  
Sirius manages to make Teddy stop with tight hugs and whispering reassurances which the boy does not seem to buy. When they return to the ward later on, Sirius finds everybody minus Arthur, Ron and Hermione talking or moving around amiably. He looks around to find the little Veela in a corner; eyes rimmed red and quiet for a change with what looks like a light red mark on her cheek.  
  
Teddy spends the rest of the time sitting quietly by his side and when he is called to hold James Sirius before leaving, he pats his head lightly without his previous enthusiasm and Sirius can't help thinking viciously that Victoire deserved everything she got. Then he reminds himself that she too is just a child but the bitterness does not leave.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Growing up, Teddy is not allowed to feel alone since there are always people to meet on weekends, but there is a kind of loneliness somewhere lurking in his life. Uncle Harry is a busy Auror and everybody else has something or the other to do.  
  
He also asks about Padfoot sometimes but Aunt Ginny tells him that Uncle Sirius needs his own time and he is a bit of a busy man nowadays. Teddy finds his mouth turning down whenever Padfoot fails to show up to the family dinners. By the eighth time, he realises that Padfoot really doesn't miss him as much as he obviously does and pushes back tears like a big boy.  
  
Teddy used to love going to school but since Thomas has transferred to a Muggle Public school it's just not the same; he finds himself feeling quite like an oddity.  
  
It starts gnawing at the edges of his mind when he is able to perform more of the complicated changes of his body. It's alright at the beginning but when Dominique wrinkles her nose at his pig-snout one family dinner, he realises that maybe not everybody is entertained by his antics after all.  
  
He can't wait to leave for Hogwarts; he does not have to worry anymore since everybody there is magical.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
When Teddy is in second year, Andromeda receives letters in which Teddy mentions a new friend, Charles Vane and almost all of the adults release a deep breath as Teddy is finally finding it easy to make friends. Harry grins at the mention of Teddy receiving detention in letter in which he sounds slightly scared.  
  
When Teddy is in the middle of his second year, everybody in the family is shocked as Andromeda receives letters from Hogwarts about Teddy's violent outburst and behaviour.  
  
Harry runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he paces the second time a letter arrives with news that Teddy has beaten up Connor Zabini to the point that the Slytherin's parents are demanding Teddy's expulsion.  
  
"What has gotten into ze boy? Teddy was never like zis before," Fleur comments about it fiercely as if it isn't Teddy's fault for being violent.  
  
"D'you think that maybe—" Ron starts but shuts up immediately with a look from his wife but Harry, Sirius and Bill look at him intensely.  
  
"—that maybe the wolf doesn't want to remain dormant anymore?" Sirius completes what Harry has been thinking. Bill looks at him sharply.  
  
"Are you absolutely certain about that, Sirius?" he asks and Sirius nods, his face hard.  
  
"James and I researched a lot about werewolves back in school and this isn't looking too good." Molly interrupts their dejected line of thinking.  
  
"He is a young boy, almost a teenager," she explains in a fashion only women who know they are right can, "it's only natural that he would go through some changes, his body is—"  
  
"Mum," Bill speaks up out of line, "don't sugar-coat it. I know you're unwilling to admit the possibility of Teddy being a werewolf but if there is even the slightest chance, I think we better be careful." He looks around to see similar thoughts reflected on all their faces except Molly's.  
  
"We could also be wrong about this," she says but Harry has had a lifetime of bad occurrences to know that…  
  
"We'll talk to McGonagall about this." That's all he has to say at the moment because the idea of his godson being a werewolf is not a welcome one; he remembers all too clearly what Remus had faced back in the days.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
The first time, even when he knows everything as Harry has explained it all to him, Teddy cries and cries in his ward.  
  
The pain, the agony…God, it's too much.  
  
_"I'll die. I'm going to die."_  
  
Moony; he knows now why they called his father that. For the first time in thirteen years, he realises that nobody had ever told him what a monster his dad had been. He had always known his dad had been a werewolf but not actually _known_ it.  
  
He remembers seeing himself in the mirror that is kept in the Shrieking Shack, the snout, the fur, the eyes, the teeth! He is like a nightmare. He can't understand why his father would do this to him.  
  
_Moony is going to kill me_ He thinks hysterically before Madam Pomfrey decides to subdue him with a pain-killing potion.  


 

*

  
  
Sirius's heart aches at the way Teddy clings to Harry when the older man pulls him into a hug. He is starting to look so much like Remus had been at thirteen with his brown hair, an indication of his moroseness.  
  
"I didn't know. I didn't know Dad was like this," Teddy keeps repeating into Harry's suit as the man awkwardly pats his hair. "Why my dad?"  
  
They know that what he really wants to ask is _‘Why me?'_  
  
"It was an accident, Teddy," Sirius finds himself whispering and Harry looks at him.  
  
"I hate him," Teddy says and it's muffled against Harry's body but the effect is instantaneous as Harry freezes with his hand on top of his godson's head and Sirius is shocked, he is so shocked that he is rooted to the spot; bombarded with thoughts of Remus being shunned, Remus crying as a child, Remus so disheartened whenever he encountered the rest of the world.  
  
"Don't say that, Teddy," Sirius finally says. Remus had never deserved anybody's hate and certainly not his son's. He knows if Remus were alive, he would have swallowed the lump in his throat and given Teddy some space but Sirius can't be like that, he can't just let Remus be tainted this way.  
  
"Why?" Teddy asks furiously, his eyes shining with tears and his wounds stand out harshly against his pale skin. "He made me like this. I'm like this because my dad was a—a monster."  
  
"Teddy!" Harry exclaims loudly but all Sirius can hear is the ringing of Teddy's words.  
  
"And you lied to me!" Teddy shouts at Sirius as he holds on to the railings of the bed, "all of you, never told me anything about this—about him being like—"  
  
"Shut up, Teddy!" Sirius finally snaps and the young boy's eyes widen. "You know nothing. Nothing about Remus, so don't you dare call him a monster." Teddy looks torn between keeping silent and not; he decides on the latter.  
  
"You're the one who doesn't know anything. He was my father." He is shouting right back.  
  
"And you never even met him, Teddy—"  
  
"Sirius! Enough! Both of you!" Harry shouts at last as the tears in Teddy's eyes finally trickle down his face. Sirius numbly watches him as he angrily swipes at his eyes as he turns away; Sirius's unspoken words hang in the air and guilt threatens to engulf him as he realises his own cruelty.  
  
He turns on his heel and exits the hospital wing.  
  
Harry finds him later on in Minerva's office, ready to Floo back to his house. His godson looks like he wants to talk to him and Sirius is ready to give him the cold shoulder but he speaks up.  
  
"I talked to him," Harry tells him and Sirius sighs.  
  
"How is he?" Because _Merlin_ , Teddy had looked ashen and so much in pain even now. "Did you get to ask why the wolfsbane didn't help?" Harry nods as he runs a hand through his hair.  
  
"He's resting. It's his first time, even with the wolfsbane, the transformation itself is supposedly very taxing." Sirius understands that and his heart goes out to the boy but he had had no right to express such an awful sentiment about Remus.  
  
"Sirius," Harry says quietly, "I think you should talk to him. Properly." Harry's words make Sirius feel so ashamed of himself that he feels like he's the godson here.  
  
"I think I may be the last person Teddy wants to see right now, Harry," Sirius tells him dejectedly but Harry looks like he has more to add, even frowning a little.  
  
"Sirius, I know you were upset," Harry says slowly, "but Teddy didn't deserve that."  
  
"I know," Sirius replies hoarsely and rubs a hand over his face, "I'm such an arse, aren't I?" Harry smiles a little at that.  
  
"Yeah, you kind of were." He admits but then gets serious, "But you're also the only person who can make Teddy see what Remus was like, Sirius." Sirius looks at him.  
  
"You knew him too, Harry."  
  
"But it's not the same, is it?" Sirius agrees with him silently but he does not know how he will make Teddy see the great man that Remus was. But Harry is still looking at him expectantly and Sirius sighs.  
  
"I'll try, alright; so don't get your hopes up." Despite his words, Harry looks immensely relieved. Sirius scowls because he can't afford to look nervous.  
  
Sirius finds Teddy sitting up; face turned towards the window, his brown hair slumped against the pillows. He turns towards Sirius even before he says a word with a slight frown.  
  
"I knew you were coming…I could feel it." Teddy sounds absolutely miserable. "I'm like an animal now."  
  
"No, Teddy. Don't say that," Sirius says sternly as he comes closer to the bed. "Can I sit?" He motions to the chair in front and Teddy nods.  
  
"Werewolves are as much humans as we—I or Harry—are, Teddy."  
  
"But—"  
  
Sirius interrupts his feeble words. "I know you think that your father was a monster, but Teddy, he had no choice either. Your dad—" Sirius has to pause to swallow the lump in his throat before continuing, "Your dad was such a good man, Teddy, I'm sorry I acted the way I did—"  
  
"'S okay," Teddy tells him hurriedly but Sirius places a hand on Teddy's arm.  
  
"No, it's not," he tells Teddy intensely. "Do you know, that's the exact kind of thing Remus would have said? He was always so…nice, Teddy. People liked him, even Slytherins, which is saying something." Teddy's ears perk up at that.  
  
"Now you're just making things up, right?" Sirius denies it with a smile.  
  
"Not at all. What I'm saying, Teddy, is that, meeting your father was the best thing that ever happened to me, and him being a werewolf didn't change anything."  
  
"I—" Teddy looks down at his hands, "I didn't really mean it when I said that I—that I hated him. I don't. I was just so angry."  
  
"I know, and again, I'm sorry for the way I behaved. He was only five when he was bitten." Teddy looks shocked to hear that. Sirius hadn't meant to say it yet though.  
  
"F—five?" Teddy sounds shaken, "You're telling me—he was—j—just a kid?" Sirius doesn't comment on his sudden stuttering; it's understandable. And all of a sudden it's clear as a day what Sirius has to do. He joins Teddy on the bed and sits gingerly beside the gangly teenager.  
  
"Do you want to know about him? About Moony the Marauder's story?" Teddy nods and Sirius tells him. He tells him about a boy who had loved the beach, of a boy who loved annoying his mama by changing all the drinks in their house to chocolate, who was the target of vengeance by a werewolf named Greyback, of his first days at Hogwarts and on and on till Sirius finishes spinning the tale for Teddy how he has always seen Remus's life.  
  
"What happened to Greyback?" Teddy asks sleepily from his spot beside Sirius as his head finds a resting spot on Sirius's shoulder.  
  
"He died. The same night, in the battle of Hogwarts." When he had been behind that strange veil.  
  
"What about you? Where were you?" Teddy asks curiously as he raises his head to look at Sirius and the older man smiles sadly.  
  
"That's a story for another time, Teddy." Teddy doesn't push it and instead leans into Sirius again.  
  
"I missed talking to you. You're always so busy now," Teddy tells him earnestly because he is still at that age where he can get away with a little clinginess. Sirius's heart warms a little at the words.  
  
"You'll probably be seeing more of ol' Padfoot now, don't you worry, kid." Teddy scowls at that.  
  
"I'm not a kid!" he manages to grumble but then wraps an arm around Sirius's torso as he leans all of his weight on to the man. "I'm glad dad had you guys. D'you think I can still have my friends too?"  
  
"I don't know, Teddy," Sirius replies honestly. "But yeah, I'm glad too, that your dad didn't always have to be alone."  
  
Sometimes he thinks of how Remus must have felt after he had fallen behind the veil.  
  
"I like you, Sirius." Teddy's voice is soft. "If my friends leave me, will you—"  
  
"Your friends won't leave you," Sirius reprimands him and then softens his tone, "but I'll be here, I'll always be here for you."  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
"Hey there, come on now, it's okay." Teddy shivers as his joints ache when Sirius cleans the blood off him. It's awful, especially without the wolfsbane. He can hear clinks of glass and knows Madam Pomfrey is already there in the shack, helping Sirius with his task. God, he is such a child sometimes. He tries to push up into a sitting position.  
  
"Don't do that yet." Sirius holds him down firmly by a shoulder and strokes his hair away from his forehead. "We'll just patch you up in a bit, alright?" And then Sirius would be gone again until the next full moon. They never see each other anymore outside of these encounters or the holidays. He tries to squeeze Sirius's hand before Madam Pomfrey injects a potion into him and he blacks out.  
  
Teddy wakes up with dreams of a mermaid dancing in the air while a dog wagged its tail in time to that horrible song ‘Toxic'. Which also reminds him of Thomas and…  
  
"I want a mobile phone," is the first thing Teddy says to nobody but his statement is met with a chuckle that forces him to open his eyes.  
  
"A mobile phone? Why the sudden wish to get one of those?" Sirius asks interestedly, not like his grandmother who had frowned and looked like a mobile phone was an unnecessary toy that Teddy did not need. He thinks it's the technology in it that scares her but she will never admit it.  
  
"Everyone has them," Teddy manages to grumble, "even babies are born with mobile phones." Sirius is so amused by his words that he barks out in laughter before standing up from his seat.  
  
"Hmm, you should get some sleep, Teddy. I'll see you later." He says that every time.  
  
"Until the next full moon, you mean?" Teddy replies snappishly and for a second he thinks Sirius looks guilty but the man just ruffles his hair with a smile.  
  
"Get some sleep." He is gone with that and Teddy tries to think of what he could have done to be dismissed like that by Sirius for the hundredth time.  


 

*

  
  
"Why didn't you say something about this before?" Sirius can't understand why Pomfrey is so relaxed about all this. "Harry or I could have gotten it for you if we were told that the potion ran out." Harry nods at that as he looks worriedly at the curtain a few feet away.  
  
"Mr Black." This woman still treats him like the naughty boy he had been once. "If Wolfsbane was licensed to be in the market, I would have procured it for Edward."  
  
"What about Professor Slughorn?" Harry asks her and elaborates. "I remember Snape brewing it for Remus when he taught here." Pomfrey's lips thin at that.  
  
"It takes somebody very skilled to brew a potion of that level, Mr. Potter. Besides, obtaining the ingredients isn't easy." Harry will not risk it and he knows that Hermione will do it in a heartbeat if asked but with the elections coming up, she has too much on her plate as Secretary to Kingsley. But then she did work herself to the bone during school…  
  
"I'll do it," Sirius says determinedly, breaking the silence and Harry looks at him in surprise.  
  
"You heard her, Sirius; it's a very complicated potion." Sirius smiles for the first time that day.  
  
"Tell you a secret; I used to be one of the best in our year. It's just that Slughorn had eyes for only Snape and your mum." Harry's shoulders sag in relief at his godfather's words; he can't see Teddy broken and torn like this again. But Sirius is impulsive and overestimates his abilities a bit, doesn't he?  
  
"Alright, now. Where do I find the recipe?" Sirius asks Pomfrey with a doggy grin. Harry stops worrying knowing it will be alright when Sirius puts his mind to things like that.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Teddy is fifteen, almost sixteen now and he isn't exempt from the bouts of teenage angst that attacks everybody at this time. He has crossed the stage of spindly arms, the bony body, the childish face and is starting to attract far more attention than he is used to since his Black genes are starting to show. Or maybe that has something to do with his recent trouble-makings with his best friend Charles. And he really is the best apart from Victoire given his ‘No way, seriously? So what happens?' and a million questions as reply to his confession of lycanthropy.  
  
He goes out with a Ravenclaw named Samantha and when that doesn't work out, then Margaret and somebody else before he gives in to Victoire's pestering; he loves the girl but she can be such a... _girl_. It just doesn't do anything for his body as much as he likes talking to any of them; apparently _he_ is the bad date if he is a gentleman and doesn't grope them on the first date. He does not acknowledge his possible attraction for Bailey Wood.  
  
It's shockingly a page from his dad's journal that he finds during the Easter holidays and opens it after some attack from the book and managing to conjure the invisible writing in it that allows Teddy to explore his other urges.  
  
_I think I like him. I'm scared but I've seen him look too. I hope it isn't just me, because I think I may be falling in love with Sirius._  
  
One line and it had left Teddy feeling sick, hopeful and unsure all at once. His dad and Sirius? What did this mean for his parents?  
  
_It's okay to like boys. It's okay to want them._ But Teddy doesn't know if his father ever acted upon his feelings. He turns to a page some time later to find it. There is a picture of a younger Sirius—he was so handsome even then—with his dad, just standing and smiling so large—  
  
And then he kisses his father showily before being hit by a blur of something by whoever was clicking the picture.  
  
Teddy stares as the motion repeats itself over and over again, he feels a throb of something akin to arousal at that; Sirius has beautiful lips—  
  
Teddy tears his eyes away from the picture, feeling slightly sick yet excited. There is only one scrap of parchment torn and glued underneath it in an elegant script.  


 

_I miss you so much, Moony.  
–Love, Padfoot._

  


 

*

  
  
Sirius's hands make Teddy feel like a mass of aching joints and skin with piles of bones in it. It always hurts so much even after all the fun Teddy has had playing with Padfoot and then cuddling up into fur balls to sleep. As always, Sirius's hands work their magic and potions are swallowed before the pain starts to recede and Teddy starts feeling human again.  
  
"That's disgusting," Teddy comments when a green potion goes down his throat and Sirius spares a smile at him before looking for the relief-balm. Teddy lies back down on the bed and looks at him, eyes heavy; Sirius's hair is getting longer, kind of girly but it adds character to him somehow. It looks good on him.  
  
Sirius helps him with the balm where he can't reach and it is an accidental slip when Sirius's hand brushes against the curve of his buttock but it causes Teddy to stiffen and Sirius apologises before continuing his application on his lower back.  
  
Teddy bites his lip and continues lying on his stomach as he calms down and feels the slight tinge of arousal fading. Anything turns him on these days. And this is Sirius, of all people.  
  
Stupid hormones.  


 

*

  
  
Sirius rubs his face tiredly and looks up when he feels Harry's gaze on him. It is a concerned look and Harry looks like he wants to say something.  
  
"Everything okay?" Sirius asks because having Harry is one thing but Hermione accompanying him seems fishy. Harry smiles at him reassuringly however.  
  
"Course it is," Harry replies and near the stove, Hermione pours their coffee in large mugs and for a minute there is a comfortable silence while she tinkers around to prepare their coffee just right. She places Sirius and Harry's coffee mugs in front of them. Sirius smiles at them as he blows over his coffee before taking a sip.  
  
"It's good to have you here," Sirius tells him in a low voice and Harry nods.  
  
"Yeah, it's been a while." It's the way he says it that has Sirius pausing and looking at his godson closely. He sets his mug down.  
  
"Harry? Is everything alright?" Is it one of the sprogs? He worries but then Harry tells him that everything is fine at home. Then he immediately thinks about Teddy; he hasn't talked to him at all. Ever since Teddy has hit his growth spurt, being around him has been…hard to say in the least. He remembers things best left somewhere in his heart and not drudged up but with Teddy looking so much like Remus, it confuses him, muddles his thoughts and sometimes—no, he isn't even going to think about _that_.  
  
"I'm worried about you, Sirius," Harry finally tells him.  
  
"Me? Harry, why in Merlin's name would you worry about me? I'm not the one with a trouble-maker for a son," he tells, referring to young James Sirius of course; he is truly shaping up to be just like his namesakes. But Harry does not crack a smile and that tells Sirius that his godson is very serious about this. "Hey, don't hold out on me, kid."  
  
"It's just that we—I think you've been working too hard, Sirius," he says.  
  
"Working hard?" Sirius asks. "Are we talking about my shop—"  
  
"No, Sirius," Harry says quickly. "It's just…you—everything." He sighs and takes off his glasses. "This isn't coming out right. I knew I should have let Ginny handle this."  
  
"Ginny?" Sirius says, alarmed suddenly as he looks at the two friends. "You were talking about me?" He tries to keep his voice neutral but the idea that they had been discussing him like some sort of a head—case is just maddening.  
  
"It's not like that," Hermione replies with a determined look. "I think you're working too hard to avoid dealing with everything that happened before—coming back and finding out that Remus wasn't there anymore—" Sirius slams his mug down harder than necessary.  
  
"I'm not talking about this," he says stonily but it doesn't deter Hermione and she looks at him fiercely.  
  
"This-Sirius, this is what I mean. You're working yourself to the bone, you're always busy—"  
  
"Oh?!" Sirius turns a dark look at Hermione, "am I not allowed having a life of my own now?" Harry is looking back and forth between them.  
  
"Of course you are," Hermione rectifies immediately, "but you need to get over it, Sirius."  
  
"Hermione," Harry says softly but Sirius has had enough and he pushes his chair back.  
  
"I'm going back to my office. Make sure you close the door when you leave," he says and Hermione starts to say something but she must have seen the anger on his face because she stops. He leaves the kitchen; anger, the burning sense of betrayal and buried hurt weighing heavily on his heart.  
  
‘Get over it.' _Fucking ‘get over it.' she says_ , he thinks harshly as he closes the door to his office and sits down on his chair shakily. Sirius doesn't think he will ever forget the despair, hollowness and the unimaginable, agonising _pain_ that had consumed him when he had woken up in St. Mungo's and kept asking for Remus again and again until Harry had broken it to him that Sirius is half a year too late and that Remus is dead.  
  
The knock at his door startles him and Sirius makes sure he looks as cool as possible before telling whoever it is to ‘Come in'. Harry's messy head peeks around the corner as he opens the door and he looks like a teenager again; Hermione isn't with him. Good. Sirius motions for him to take a seat.  
  
"Sirius, I'm really sorry about that back there. I didn't think she—" Sirius raises an eyebrow, "—okay, but I didn't know how to stop her." Sirius makes a noncommittal sound as if he hadn't just been fighting his own demons for a while in here.  
  
"She shouldn't have said that," Harry says softly and Sirius looks down at the table.  
  
"No, she shouldn't have." And then, "she doesn't know what it was like." It's the first time he has let anything from then slip out but Harry takes it in stride with minimal reaction.  
  
"I know you don't want to hear this, Sirius—" but Harry will tell him anyway, "—but you're my godfather, Sirius. You're like the only thing close to a father I ever had. Will have," he adds and Sirius looks at his godson; he looks terribly worried.  
  
"Harry," he says carefully. "It's alright. I—I know I haven't been in touch as much as I should. I really am sorry." And he is, because Harry, even at this age has the most transparent expressions. Harry gives him a stare before speaking in a soft manner, as if ready to change track depending on Sirius's mood.  
  
"Sirius, I know you didn't like what Hermione said to you, but you have to understand," Harry pauses and Sirius shifts back in his seat as if physically trying to move away from his words will stop his godson, "you have to move on, Sirius."  
  
"No," Sirius whispers in reply before he even realises it but the idea of _moving on_ …it's just not going to happen. Harry leans forward in his chair and reaches out to place a hand on his, just a contact.  
  
"Sirius, I'm not telling you to get over him. You—you loved him too much to do that, and I'm not ever going to ask you to do it. But you need to move on." Sirius shakes his head.  
  
"It's the same thing, Harry." But his godson won't leave it at that, apparently. Just like his parents.  
  
"No, it's not, Sirius." He even smiles at Sirius a little. "No one's asking you to stop loving him. But it shouldn't stop you from seeing other people, finding someone to really have a life with."  
  
"I have a life." Even to his own ears, Sirius realises how flimsy that sounds; his life is almost just a series of motions. Harry's look is a little too understanding but then he stands up.  
  
"Look, I'm not telling you to do anything. Just think about it, yeah? Maybe—" He hesitates, blushing, "—maybe try dating a little, see other people…y'know?" It's the ‘y'know' that cracks Sirius up and even Harry smiles at that. To be receiving permission to date around from his godson, now that's something that Sirius doesn't experience every day. Sirius feels his chest loosen just a little.  
  
"Thanks, kid. I'll think about it," he reassures Harry who then excuses himself.  
  
Sirius does go out after that and to be honest; it is refreshing to have men look at him when he directs his out-of-practice bedroom-eyes at them. It's good to know he hasn't lost his touch, he thinks when a long red-haired man with freckles across his nose and full lips, nearly his age buys him a drink and later on pats his thigh.  
  
He doesn't become a serial-dater, he honestly doesn't think he has the element to pull it off at his age anymore, but finds himself feeling perhaps, a little livelier than before.  
  
The red-head flirts with him again one night in a different bar and asks for Sirius's name as he cockily introduces himself as Jon-short for Jonathan. He reminds Sirius of himself a long time ago in the way he looks at him, determined to reel Sirius in with his charms, and he is bloody gorgeous to boot with his hair pulled back.  
  
Sirius deems him safe and from then on has a good arrangement going on—no strings attached—and it's wonderful, because even a hundred of these men will never be Remus.  


 

*

  
  
A bad habit of Teddy's is, following his-err-instincts. His curiosity always gets the better of him and that is exactly how he is standing under a hot spray in one of the Quidditch shower stalls because rumour has it that the shower in here has some kind of massaging power. He doesn't know about that but whatever it is works wonders on his shoulders; they feel relaxed for the first time in months.  
  
It is also this curiosity that has him cocking his ear when he hears somebody groaning in the adjacent stall in a way only _wound up_ teenagers do. He grins and steps outside in a towel and locates his wand on the bench. With a smirk he unlocks the cubicle and positions himself cockily in the doorway and nudges the door open with his foot.  
  
His eyes widen and his stance drops.  
  
Bailey Wood. Bailey bloody Wood is staring at him, shocked, his hand wrapped around his—Teddy snaps his eyes upward as a blush creeps onto his face.  
  
"What the fuck? Get out of here!" Teddy breaks out of his trance at that and he is about to do just that when the devil on his shoulder decides to enjoy itself a little; he is going to blame the little invisible bugger for everything.  
  
"You do realise that _this_ is a place where people shower, Wood." The Quidditch captain has turned to his side but Teddy does not miss the flush of his face, or maybe that's the hot water.  
  
"And you do realise that there's this thing called privacy, Lupin, don't you?" For some strange reason Wood's annoyance sparks something in Teddy. He enters the stall with no hesitation; he is a mischief-maker after all, Wood should have expected this.  
  
"W-what are you doing?" Wood asks when Teddy shuts the door behind him as he is turning the shower off.  
  
"You look like you could use a hand." Teddy replies as he looks down at Wood's member that has gone soft and licks his lip as his mouth feels suddenly dry; this is supposed to be only the stuff of his fantasies. Wood looks scared but he isn't pushing Teddy away even as the younger Gryffindor steps closer and brushes his hand along his cock in wonder; he has never actually touched someone else's cock before this and Wood looks quite fascinated by his hand. That tells Teddy something and it may be that Wood is just as willing to let him touch as he is.  
  
So he pushes Wood and their bare chests touch. Teddy gasps at the sensation and is amazed and shocked when Wood's hands grab his face and their mouths meet in a too-slanted manner but it's alright, it's more than alright because this is Bailey Wood kissing-no- _snogging_ him and it's the best thing that has ever happened to Teddy.  


 

*

  
  
Teddy doesn't do the secretive ‘affairs behind closed doors' kind of thing, it's too sixteenth century for him but for the first time, he _wants_ to be with someone and that someone is Bailey.  
  
After that first encounter, it seemed that Wood would always have his eyes on Teddy until their gazes locked and the Captain would then look away shyly. That doesn't stop Bailey from slipping Teddy a note telling him to meet him at what time and which spot.  
  
Teddy smiles more at everything and thinks about Bailey a lot. In fact, it ends up getting him detention from Professor McGonagall because he had been too busy thinking of the next day when they were to meet in the Room of Requirement instead of turning his mouse into a teapot and earns him a questioning look from Charles; they would have a man-to-man talk later about this.  
  
It keeps getting better and Teddy almost forgets about the impending full moon when Bailey has his Quidditch roughened hands on him and they laugh a lot.  
  
During a Slytherin vs Hufflepuff match, Teddy manages to convince Bailey to ditch the game and instead drags him under the bleachers and the thousands of students who are shouting and cheering. It feels like they are rooting for Teddy and Bailey.  
  
This might just be it for him, Teddy thinks when Bay and him have tried out _things_ that Teddy hadn't even known were possible and they lay satiated and kiss like boyfriends. He asks Bailey out properly, he isn't afraid of anybody here and why should they have to be a secret? He's told Charles about it and the git is acting like the world's biggest arse; what kind of a best friend does that make him?  
  
But when Bailey stays seated sombrely one evening, Teddy has a hard time grasping as to the real reason for their meeting then. It isn't until Bailey explains it to him that he really likes him but he wants to be out there after Hogwarts, playing with the world's best team ever that Teddy thinks it's about him leaving Hogwarts.  
  
"That's great, Bay." Teddy laughs in relief. "Captain Bay of the Puddlemere United. It's sexy." Teddy cards his fingers through Bailey's blonde hair but he pulls away with an anguished look and spells it out for him that he cannot do so with a secret like theirs that Teddy understands then why people cry and spend weeks of depression over break-ups.  
  
His heart feels like it will never beat without hurting again.  


 

*

  
  
The full moon after that leaves Teddy whining and curled on the floor as he spends most of his time whimpering. Padfoot nudges him many times but he only aches and wants to go out into the wild. He is locked up for safety reasons but he wants to be outside. He is safe now, he has taken the Wolfsbane; he can't hurt anybody now.  
  
He walks up to the window where glittering dust is caught in the slivers of moonlight and bares his throat to howl. He howls again and again but it isn't until Padfoot comes trotting beside him and joins him that Teddy feels his pain traveling all the way from inside to the air around him.  
  
They howl loud and louder and Teddy releases the ache in him into the moonlight as the dog echoes with him beside. When Teddy tires himself out he slumps into a ball and curls into Padfoot's body when he licks his muzzle. He is so good to Teddy.  
  
With the sunrise, Teddy breaks to be rearranged into his human form. It leaves him exhausted beyond words. He thinks he will never be able to get up from the floor.  
  
Sirius as always is prompt in his ministrations. What shocks Teddy is the way Sirius, instead of leaving him lying on the bed settles down beside him and wraps his arms around his torso. It's confusing Teddy, this show of affection but he is grateful to have someone to hold him.  
  
He barely gets to see Sirius but he can feel the stubble scrape against his forehead and hazily notices what a long throat he has, the kind that makes you want to kiss and bite on and on… Sirius keeps stroking his hair and murmuring something but Teddy passes out from exhaustion, his heart still broken but strings of hope making their way into it.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
It is summertime and Teddy is free to be as wild as he wants. He is old enough and will soon be living on his own.  
  
For him, it is actually quite easy to visit places he isn't allowed to, a little change of his face, his hair and he can pass for whatever age he needs for the night. Tonight he is looking at an older man, probably in his forties but his dark hair is gorgeous, Teddy wants to tangle his hand in it. His blue eyes are trained on Teddy from across the bar. Excellent.  
  
His name is Corbin Finnick, Muggle and he takes Teddy to a nearby motel where they switch off their mobiles.  
  
They don't spend much time on foreplay but engage in amazing, fast and hot activities with Corbin's talented mouth and hands that has Teddy coming like an amateur. Several times. After that though, they exchange blowjobs and the man, Corbin, teaches him so much about sex that Teddy realises he almost knows nothing. Oh, the drawbacks of being in an old-fashioned school.  
  
"How old are you, Edward?" Corbin asks, his eyes crinkling at the corners. _‘Twenty one'_ , Teddy tells him. It's a small lie but they won't meet again.  
  
They don't kiss much because Corbin keeps pushing Teddy away in favour of using those skilled hands and lips on the rest of his body. It's okay but Teddy would have liked to kiss the man, his lips are shaped just right.  


 

*

  
  
Teddy visits the club tonight again.  
  
A day before the full moon, Teddy cannot keep it down any longer. Every time he had encountered Sirius in the week, he has had to excuse himself. Everything from the way he drank coffee to the way he crumpled up paper towels with his strong hands has been sending jolts of arousal through Teddy. And if there is anything wrong with the situation, it's that Sirius isn't responding to him despite the obvious fact that he is like Teddy. Maybe he needs to wave a rainbow flag to indicate it.  
  
By some strange coincidence Teddy sees Corbin in the club again and he puts on his previous disguise. This time Teddy does things his way and they spend time gyrating against each other on the dance floor until Roland, the owner threatens to throw them out for obscenity.  
  
"Let's go somewhere else," Corbin whispers roughly against Teddy's ear but Teddy is already brushing his jacket and pulling the older man towards the door. They barely make it outside to the alleyway beside the club and Teddy starts almost tearing away at Corbin's leather jacket.  
  
"Slow down, Edward." The admonishment however is lost when he moans as Teddy attacks his lips, he is so elated at not being pushed away this time; no intimate encounter is ever complete without a kiss. Teddy's jacket drops on the road with a metallic jingle from all the studs and his hands grab Corbin's hips so he can rub their crotches together. They groan in unison as their hard lengths brush against each other, Teddy thinks he will explode if he doesn't get relief soon enough. In a blur of motions and breathless panting their trousers are undone.  
  
Teddy takes hold of the man's soft hair and pushes him down onto the ground, he complies once he understands Teddy's intentions with a surprised smile, raining kisses down his stomach and pulling down his tight trouser expertly.  
  
He really knows what he is doing, Teddy thinks vaguely as his head hits the wall and he tangles a hand in Corbin's inky hair as he works his talented tongue over Teddy's cock. _This_ , he thinks is amazing beyond words, the best he has ever had. Sirius probably knows how to do this, he must have done this for his dad countless times and he really should not be thinking about that but the man in front of him—  
  
_He_ does something to the underside of his cock and his climax hits him by surprise, Teddy doesn't even have the time to think before he pushes his head down to the base of his cock, tightens his hand in those dark strands and keeps coming as fingers trail across his balls and entrance. He shivers as he comes down from his orgasm and his hands fall limply at his sides as Sirius— _God, no!_ —Corbin stands up, the bulge evident in his trouser.  
  
"Turn around." Teddy nips at Siriu— _Corbin's_ earlobe in the darkness. The older man is surprised but recovers fast enough as he gives in to Teddy's demand. Teddy shivers as the air hits their heated bodies and he catches hold of the older man's thighs to push them apart the way he has taught him previously. He easily complies and the sight of him pushing his arse back into Teddy's hands has him going mad with desire. His body is lean, his dark hair is black enough and his hoarse grunts are perfect.  
  
Teddy does what is necessary and pushes his fingers into him harder than he needs to but Corbin's scrabbling fingers on the wall tell him that he is absolutely enjoying this side of the young man. He has an overwhelming urge to bite the back of his neck but resists and instead growls in anticipation when the tight heat clenches around his fingers.  
  
_Merlin!_ Is this what Sirius would look like if he did this to him?  
  
They pant and take deep breaths, sweat cooling on their foreheads and Teddy begins to feel strangely awkward as the wolf retreats, satisfied for the time being. Corbin chuckles.  
  
"I didn't think you had it in you. You sure learn fast, Edward." Teddy accepts the compliment with a roguish grin and takes in the sight of the man who is giving in to him so easily; in the darkness he can almost pass for Sirius.  
  
"We should do that again," he says and Corbin laughs loudly without the distinct bark.  
  
"Already? Let's calm down a bit, Edward." That has Teddy smirking somewhat coyly.  
  
"Oh!? I guess old age will do that to you." He shakes his head. "That's just sad; I know sixty year olds who can do better." As long as he doesn't think of Uncle Bill and aunt Fleur, it's okay. Seriously. That has Corbin frowning and he grabs Teddy's hips with a kind of growl that reaches all the way down to the pit of Teddy's stomach.  
  
"I'll show you old age," he says in a low voice as he takes Teddy's earlobe between his teeth. Teddy laughs; he reacts just like Sirius would.  
  
"Relax." Teddy pushes Siri—Corbin far enough to look at him. "I just meant…can I see you again?" Teddy asks, knowing the man will say yes. Corbin waits for an unsure moment but then agrees to it with a kiss from Teddy.  
  
Merlin, he is such a terrible person. But it's okay, Corbin is a big guy.  
  
"Teddy! He's here," Sirius shouts at somebody inside the house as Teddy arrives home, looking like his usual self but there is something off about him, the way his eyes shift around the place, the way he is fidgeting with his tee shirt and then Sirius catches a whiff of sex on him. His eyes widen.  
  
"Where were you?" Andromeda asks before Sirius can and strides up to Teddy who is now slightly taller than her but the seventeen year old steps back.  
  
"Gramma, sorry, I—uh—" Teddy looks slightly abashed, "—was with friends and I lost track of time." Sirius can see Andromeda not buying his story as her lips thin to a line.  
  
"Not good enough, Edward." Teddy blushes at that for some reason and then starts as she waves her hand and Teddy's mobile phone is out of his pocket and in her hand. "I'll be holding on to this until you leave for Hogwarts." Teddy groans and Sirius chuckles at the woman's method of disciplining the kid.  
  
"Come on—" Teddy tries but one look from his grandmother quells him and he pushes past them to hurry into his room. Sirius follows him after a minute and knocks on his door. He enters when there is a grumbled ‘Come in.'  
  
"Teddy?" Sirius asks politely at the slumped, still clothed form of the boy. He groans.  
  
"Go away, Sirius. I really don't wanna talk to you." Well, that's new.  
  
"I'm not here to question you, Teddy. You're old enough to do whatever you wish to." Teddy turns his head towards him at that, his cheek against the blue sheets.  
  
"How about, I don't _want_ to talk to you. Can you leave? I'm tired as fuck." _Language._ Sirius thinks but then, he had been seventeen once so he lets it slide. Besides, it is the full moon tomorrow. He steps back outside the room with a concerned glance.  
  
"Just, be a little careful, whatever you do, alright?" Sirius waits for a second, then leaves. Teddy will come around in his own time.  


 

*

  
  
Setting up his own flat is like nothing Teddy has ever done before. There is so much to do, so many things to buy that he has never even thought of before. Like the time he realises that he can't eat instant noodles without a fork. He gets saved by a young, flirty girl next door in a crop top who hands him a fork along with a spoon and tells him that he can fork her anytime. He manages to smile at her and repress a shudder before fleeing back to his flat. Barely.  
  
There are other perks to it all of course, like how he gets to spend more time with Harry and Sirius as they help him out and it isn't just the six-pack beer that comes with them either. Teddy had thought that Sirius in suit pants was hot until he sees the man in a faded tee shirt and dark denim that encases his long legs and a mighty fine arse if Teddy ever saw one.  
  
"What…'s up with the weather…this year?" Sirius pants out as they haul in Teddy's new dressing table. It's all Sirius's fault of course; he insisted that they do this the Muggle way in a Muggle neighbourhood when it is thirty seven degrees outside. At least he hadn't fussed about the cooling charms Harry had cast.  
  
"Some tosh about global warm…ing." Teddy finishes when Sirius suddenly pulls up his tee shirt and tosses it on the floor before falling back on Teddy's new bed. Teddy's mouth goes dry as he looks at Sirius, dark hair on his blue sheets, his sculpted body, and the treasure trail that disappeared into the dark jeans…he shakes his head; he cannot afford to sport a hard-on now.  
  
"Hey, kid, have you got anything to drink in this place?" Teddy makes a show of looking annoyed.  
  
"Don't call me ‘kid'!" Sirius smirks at him and props himself on an elbow.  
  
"I only do it out of love, kid." Teddy flips him the bird when Harry enters the room.  
  
"Teddy," his godfather admonishes him and Teddy grins apologetically as he takes the box full of his shoes from Harry. But then Sirius laughs out as he pulls Harry by the hand and he stumbles on to the bed on his face, and Teddy, on an impulse drops the box at the foot of the bed before diving in between two of his favourite men to complain about the heat as he accidentally brushes against Sirius's bare torso a few times.  


 

*

  
  
_Finally_ , Teddy thinks as Corbin's hands slip under his jeans and squeezes his bottom. He shivers from the anticipation at what's about to happen. He pulls on the man's hair and away from his neck.  
  
"Come on. Not here. Bed," he manages out loud as his cock is begging to be released and all he can think is that this Sirius-like man is the only thing in existence and if he isn't inside Teddy—  
  
Corbin pulls away from him, his blue eyes hot with lust and a little of something that Teddy doesn't want to explore right now; he just wants to get horizontal, preferably on his back and feel hot skin against hot skin and goes for exactly that. He roughly unbuttons the other man's shirt—who the hell invented buttons again?—and tears it away. The older man lets out an inarticulate moan as Teddy hooks his legs around and pulls him back and they end up almost flat on his new dining table which creaks dangerously on its legs when—  
  
_Crack!_ They freeze for a moment and Teddy turns his head to see Sirius with his wand out, eyes wide—  
  
"What the fuck is going on here?!" he bellows and they disengage immediately. Teddy curses as he straightens his tee shirt down but Corbin has his eyes trained on Sirius and looks ready to attack if his fist is any indication.  
  
"What the hell was that just now? How did you get in here?" Oh, shit! But Sirius takes care of it with a non-verbal _Confundus_ before Teddy can say a word and Corbin looks confused for a second before turning to Teddy.  
  
"Edward? What's going—"  
  
"Nothing's going on," Sirius interrupts as he steps forward. "You're leaving. Now," he adds dangerously when the other man looks ready to argue.  
  
"I'm sorry, who're you again? You can't just come in here and—" but Sirius, it seems has had enough and in a swift movement he hauls Corbin by the elbow.  
  
"Are you bloody deaf or what?" He gives Teddy a once—over and turns back to the other man. "And I can damn well do whatever I please, especially when you have your dirty hands on an underage boy. And you!" He turns to Teddy. "Why aren't you answering your calls? You've got Andromeda worried sick, kid." Shit! Teddy sees the look of shock pass over Corbin's face as the man turns to face him.  
  
"Edward?" _Is it true?_ Teddy can't say anything to diffuse the situation; it's bound to go downhill now. "Shit! How young are we talking about here?"  
  
"Seventeen," Sirius replies without hesitation and Corbin continues looking shocked before he wrenches his arm from his grip. "You—"  
  
"I can hardly go out like this, can I?" Corbin interrupts before snatching his shirt from Teddy's hand. He shrugs it on and buttons it hurriedly, checks his pocket and looks at Teddy with eyes full of disappointment. "You know, Edward? I actually liked you." He had known it but that does nothing to make Teddy feel better; he feels like the world's biggest bastard.  
  
Corbin leaves through the door and the distinct lack of a slamming sound tells much about the goodness of his character. There is a deafening silence in Teddy's kitchen and then Sirius turns to face him, fury all over his face.  
  
"Did the bastard come on to you?" The question surprises Teddy and he immediately shakes his head.  
  
"No. No, Corbin—he—" he takes a deep breath to calm himself, "—we met in a club a few weeks back. I thought it would be a one—time thing and then…it wasn't." Sirius looks puzzled at the explanation.  
  
"But Teddy, he's so—isn't he a bit old for you?" he finally asks and Teddy raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Old? No, not really. And I wasn't even thinking about it. I mean, have you seen his body?" Teddy knows he is rambling because, Merlin, what are you supposed to do when the object of your fantasies catches you getting off with somebody else? Sirius licks his lips and looks at him worriedly.  
  
"Okay. Okay, let's say that it was mutual. But are you sure this is what you want?" _You're young._ It went unsaid but Teddy knows that that's what he is thinking and a flare of anger rises from inside him.  
  
"Please, Sirius. Just because you weren't sure when you were jerking my dad around, doesn't mean I don't know what I want, okay?" It comes out so accusatory and spiteful that Teddy almost apologises but then realises what he has just said and decides to give Sirius the truth. "Yeah, I know about it; it was in my dad's diary. Some Dahlia and Mary and Merlin—knows—what other girls." He had _felt_ his dad's heartbreak and disappointment—not at Sirius but at himself for being so vulnerable—while reading his diary; his dad had really had a way with words.  
  
Teddy looks at Sirius's beautiful cheekbones like Teddy's that he has started to develop thanks to his own set of Black genes. The mix of shock, uncertainty and unease is such a foreign one on Sirius that Teddy can't stop the swooping feeling in his stomach; to think that mentioning somebody long dead could evoke such a reaction from Sirius, he must really have loved his dad as he had proclaimed. Something squeezes his heart a little at that, it's minimal but it's there nonetheless.  
  
"Sirius," Teddy says softly, he feels so vulnerable all of a sudden but he needs to be honest with Sirius. "You want to know something? Corbin—that man, he wasn't even old enough as…the guy I really want to be with." His hands are sweating and Sirius is giving him an incredulous look and all Teddy can think is how much he wants Sirius to kiss him. He decides to confess.  
  
"It's not him I wanted, Sirius. It's you." It is as if his words have just sucked out the air around them. The look of shock and discomfort on Sirius's face is like a punch to Teddy's gut. No…  
  
"Teddy." Sirius licks his lips as he steps back to look at Teddy, assessing him, trying to understand why he would be saying something like this. "Look, aren't you jumping into things a bit quickly? I mean—" He holds up his hand when Teddy opens his mouth and he closes it again. "—what I'm trying to say is, maybe you need to meet people your age, alright? Just because you think you're like me—"  
  
"I _am_ like you, Sirius," Teddy interrupts sullenly as he rubs his shoulder. "Stop trying to make sound like I don't know what I want. I want _you_ , not someone my age or any other age. I don't care, okay?" Teddy realises that his voice has risen and he breathes to calm himself down. ‘ _Act like an adult._ ', he tells himself. It's the only way Sirius will take him seriously. But apparently, he seems to be set in his decision.  
  
"Teddy—" Sirius breaks off and rubs his face. "Now isn't a good time; you're going back to Hogwarts in two days." Unbelievable.  
  
"And how is that relevant, Sirius?" Sirius ignores him.  
  
"This isn't the time for playing around; you have to concentrate on your NEWTs." Teddy stares at him.  
  
"Are _you_ suddenly taking an interest in my studies, Sirius? Or are you just ignoring me because you still think of me as a child?" Sirius's silence confirms it and Teddy walks over to the man who looks surprised to have him step right into his personal space.  
  
"Look at me, Sirius," Teddy says, eyes bright and heart young as his hair changes from blonde to its normal shade of turquoise. He pushes his body lightly against Sirius and places a hand on his shoulder and slides it downward until he finds Sirius's hand where he intertwines their fingers. He looks at Sirius through his eyelashes; he looks petrified. Teddy guides their joined hands to his hip and pushes up a little more so he can kiss Sirius's perfect, lush mouth. His hardness rubs against Sirius and it seems to awaken Sirius out of his trance just as their lips are about to touch and he snatches his hand away as if burned.  
  
"Stop it, Teddy. I'm serious, stop. Right now," Sirius bites out as he steps back. Teddy's heart rate rises.  
  
"Sirius, no. Listen to me—"  
  
"No!" Sirius finally shouts and Teddy steps back, alarmed; Sirius does not shout at him. " _This_ isn't going to happen, understand? You're not a stupid boy, Teddy, you know exactly what is wrong with this." Does he mean the family? Or his dad?  
  
"Sirius. Padfoot, come on—" But Sirius seems to have had enough as he turns to leave.  
  
"I suggest you get some sleep and we'll forget this ever happened." He Apparates, leaving Teddy annoyed, hurt and most of all, frustrated.  
  
_‘Damn that cock-blocking bastard'_ , he thinks as he looks down at his unsatisfied cock.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
_"Gorgeous," Sirius breathes into Teddy's chest as his tongue trails downwards, marking his small frame with a scar on his chest and one in his side.  
  
"Sirius. Sirius. Yes. Please, now," Teddy pleads with his brown eyes as Sirius's mouth is wrapped around his cock, his fingers exploring his entrance. Sirius kisses him once before thrusting into him slickly and rocking his hips until he shudders from the tightness surrounding him._  
  
Sirius wakes up with the sheets bunched around his waist, sweat clinging to his body. He grimaces at the evidence of his dream. No, not dream. It's a bleeding nightmare is what it is. Ever since that time during the summer holidays, Sirius can't get the picture of Teddy on his back, kissing that man so passionately out of his head.  
  
It is one thing to dream of Remus even if it left him reaching out an arm to wrap around the body that is no longer present and the ache of it crashing down on him. It is honestly _not_ alright to have thoughts or even uncontrollable dreams of _Remus's son_ even if he looks awfully like Remus at seventeen.  
  
The shrill of the alarm clock forces him to leave his bed; there's work to do today. Besides, there is absolutely no way he could have gone to sleep after that anyway.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Teddy is persistent, Sirius will give him that. He shows up at Sirius's house sometimes dressed in clothes that make his mouth water and hair gelled to stand. Holidays have become a time when Sirius cannot avoid seeing Teddy in person; it's bloody torture to constantly be aware of the effect the young man has on his body and not be able to do something about it.  
  
For the first time in his life, Sirius is actually having to resist someone's attempts instead of being the one making advances. Worst of all? It is from somebody he would very much like to jump into bed with. He looks up at the heavens and thinks that Remus is probably having a good laugh about this. If he is watching, he should be proud of Sirius's control.  
  
Right before Christmas is always a busy time for Sirius, he has really come to enjoy his line of work. It isn't so much work if he likes it though, is it? But his back could really do with some break from all the paperwork at his desk. He is just about to make a trip to the kitchen when a chorus from Aerosmith's ‘Kings and Queens' startles him. Merlin, not Teddy at this time.  
  
"Sirius Black," Sirius answers formally and he hears the laugh on the other side of the call.  
  
"Well, hello to you too, _sir_." Teddy's teasing lilt sends a spike of desire all the way down to Sirius's groin. "Are you busy?" Meaning, he wants to go out with the excuse of shopping or ‘catching up' since Sirius is always away. Unfortunately Teddy translates that to ‘catching' Sirius anywhere and everywhere when they are sitting or walking.  
  
"I am actually," Sirius tells him truthfully, he is a shitty liar when Teddy wants his way and to be honest, he does want to see the boy— _man_ , he is a man now, he reminds himself.  
  
"Oh." Teddy sounds disappointed. "That's too bad. Where are you anyway? _Office_?" Sirius is used to the way Teddy always finds it funny that Sirius has turned a spare room in his house to be his ‘office'.  
  
"Yeah, swamped before the holidays," Sirius tells him as he looks over the balances with a frown; he really needs another hand to help him with this. What is the point of having magic if he has to count like a Muggle anyway?  
  
"Oh, yeah?" there is something in Teddy's voice that has Sirius pausing in his work as he listens to Teddy's loud breathing.  
  
"Teddy? Are you alright?" he asks.  
  
"Uh-huh. Are you sitting?" Teddy asks instead of replying and Sirius affirms it. "Are you in one of those suits again?" Now Sirius is really concerned and he mentions it but Teddy seems to be ignoring him.  
  
"Fuck, Sirius. That's so sexy," he says breathlessly on the phone and Sirius is shocked. Could he be…no way.  
  
"Teddy, what exactly are you doing?" he asks shakily, trying to rein in his own hormones at the thought that Teddy is probably—  
  
"Thinking about you," Teddy tells him hoarsely as his breathing becomes erratic. "God, Sirius, you have no idea what you do to me." Actually he does, because within the next second Sirius finds his other hand dropping the register and unzipping his trouser. He is already half-hard from Teddy's aroused voice in his ears and it only takes a little more imagination on his part to progress.  
  
Is Teddy lying down on his back? Is he in jeans? Maybe they are all the way down to his ankles…or maybe he is slipping his hand through the zipper but he knows Teddy and somehow it seems the former is more likely; all carefree and unworried. Teddy lets out a breath over the connection and Sirius's mouth parts. Is this how he sounds when someone blows him? _Merlin…_  
  
"You shouldn't be doing this, Teddy," Sirius manages to say over their simultaneous wank, his own hand working up and down his cock.  
  
"I know," Teddy replies, "isn't that half the fun? Oh God! Sirius, I think I—" But Sirius doesn't get to hear anymore because his own orgasm hits him at the thought of tasting Teddy _everywhere_.  
  
There is a heavy silence as the weight of it all, the line that they have just crossed settles around Sirius. Shit.  
  
"I should probably get back to work," Sirius manages and Teddy hangs up with a goodbye, not arguing.  


 

*

  
  
Spending birthdays with friends is always good but it is a different kind of good when those friends—also dubbed the _‘Triple T's'_ —are the ones that accept one with all their wolf-y goodness, well, Teddy is enjoying a sense of contentment that he hasn't in a long while. Until a spray of water hits his face that is.  
  
Teddy snaps his eyes open and sits up on the grass with a scowl to see Thomas twisting the cap of his water bottle close and grinning. Tony is smiling from beside Thomas slightly; he and Teddy are still at odds. At least Tony isn't refusing to hang around Teddy anymore even if he is visibly uncomfortable with his sexuality.  
  
"What the hell was that for?" Teddy asks and Thomas sits down before replying.  
  
"Just wanted to check that theory about wolves being scared of water." He says easily earning a roll of eyes from Teddy.  
  
"That's not werewolf, it's a vampire theory." Tony replies like the know-it-all he is and Teddy grins as Thomas looks disgruntled.  
  
"Whatever." He says dismissively before turning to Teddy again, "So, silver? I _know_ silver burns you guys, no really!" he adds when Teddy rolls his eyes and flicks him on the forehead.  
  
"No, midget. Silver is good ol' silver. It does nothing. At all. And what in the world are you reading anyway?"  
  
"Wikipedia," Thomas replies smartly.  
  
"You're obsessed is what you are," Teddy tells him easily as he grabs him in a headlock. Tony watches them with a look as if they are idiots and shakes his head before pushing his glasses up his nose and then suddenly grabs Thomas's water bottle from the ground and splashes them both.  
  
"No…" Teddy mirrors Thomas's shocked look and they look at each other. Tony smirks at them.  
  
"Weren't expecting that, were you, you sodding poofs?" Teddy stares at him in shock but then Thomas breaks the moment as he tackles the other boy to the ground, making ostentatiously smacking sounds as he tries to push his lips against his face.  
  
"Yes, yes. My love, make me yours!"  
  
"Someone needs to burn all your books," Tony manages as he pushes away Thomas's face with a bored look. Teddy titters at that and falls back on the grass. Yeah, this is good, he thinks. Maybe Tony will come around, maybe he will start accepting Teddy as he is—in all his ‘poof-y, wolf-y goodness' as Thomas likes to say.  


 

*

  
  
Teddy hasn't even been home a week and he is mussing up his hair into a gravity-defying quiff; Sirius just doesn't understand why young men are obsessed with that hairstyle.  
  
Sirius stares at Teddy's back waiting for an answer as the boy ignores him in favour of spraying that God-forsaken body spray all over. He has barely turned eighteen but that doesn't stop Sirius's treacherous eyes raking all over his body covered in leather.  
  
"I asked you where you're going, Teddy."  
  
"I heard you," Teddy retorts, "don't treat me like an idiot."  
  
"Then quit acting like one," Sirius snaps and they glare at one another for a second before Teddy turns away to face the mirror.  
  
"I'm going out," Teddy finally answers and Sirius raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Out?" he asks taking in Teddy's clothes that are pretty much begging to be ripped off and having him bent over anywhere. "Where exactly are you going, Teddy?"  
  
"Glock's." Glock's? Glo…oh! The club where Teddy had picked up that man during summer. No way. Sirius pushes down the uninvited jealousy so that he can talk like the adult he is.  
  
"Seriously? You're going to a club for a birthday shag?" Teddy gives him a narrow look.  
  
"Yeah, I am actually, since the guy I _do_ want to shag is apparently not willing." Sirius barely manages to keep his jaw from dropping.  
  
"Oh come on, kid. There are better ways to spend one's birthday," Sirius tells him instead and receives a glare.  
  
"I'm not a kid, Sirius!" Sirius grins, at least he has stopped acting as if Sirius is a bug he wants to crush.  
  
"Yeah, how can I forget? I got the Firewhisky, remember?" And the cake, but Teddy doesn't need to know that and all the dirty thoughts he had had of licking off icing from the young man's stomach.  
  
"Sirius," Teddy says softly breaking him out of his thoughts as he sits on his bed. "This is the reason why; I don't want to be a kid forever." Sirius's smile drops as he looks at Teddy's sudden drop of shoulders. Okay, he hadn't thought his comment would have that sort of effect.  
  
"Teddy, hey." Sirius walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder. "I never meant to offend you, kid—shit—sorry." He sees Teddy's lips lift at that and before he can stop himself, "You know I only do it out of love." Sirius wishes a portal would open up right where he is standing and suck him into the land of idiots, right where he belongs.  
  
"No, Sirius. You don't get it." Teddy licks his lips and looks up. "I don't want to be the only eighteen year-old in existence who hasn't had—who's still a…y'know?" Teddy blushes and Sirius's mouth drops open then. All this time…then the summer with that man, he hadn't…bloody hell! Is he supposed to feel this elated at the news? He closes his mouth.  
  
"Teddy," Sirius starts carefully, "look, I know you want to get laid and it's all good. But do you really want your first time to be with some random stranger you'll probably never meet again?" Because even if his first hadn't been Remus, he had liked Marlene enough that he never regretted it even if he always counts Remus to be his first and only because he is the only one that had mattered. Still does. But now…  
  
"Lots of guys do it," Teddy replies with a shrug but Sirius can see the forlorn expression on his well-carved features. Sirius should leave him to his devices, should walk out right now and let Teddy take responsibility for his own actions, should not even think about what he is thinking right now but he ignores that voice of reason and instead squeezes Teddy's shoulder before trailing his hand up, up and higher until his palm is pressed against Teddy's cheek. His heart is wreaking havoc inside his chest.  
  
"Sirius?" Teddy looks up, unsure, confused and Sirius shifts his hand to cup the back of his head as he continues looking down from where he is standing. "What are you doing?"  
  
Indeed, what is he doing? Sirius doesn't reply as he leans down and looks into Teddy's eyes as he brings up his other hand and brushes his lips with the pad of his thumb. Teddy shivers at the contact and closes his eyes. If it is a choice between strangers and Sirius for Teddy, he can't let the werewolf throw himself into a den of lions. Alright, maybe he is being a bit dramatic, but Teddy is a very, very good-looking boy; he would be like fresh meat in a club full of men who have eyes for nothing except a fine mouth and arse.  
  
"Helping out a friend," Sirius tells him finally as he kneels on the floor, not breaking contact and pressing a soft kiss to Teddy's cheek.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Teddy's heart races around in his chest like it is running a marathon as Sirius's lips ghost over his and he shivers. He has been thinking about this for so long, has wanted this for such a long time and now that it is happening, all he can do is sit still because if he moves, he thinks Sirius may wake up from whatever this is and stop. He can't let Sirius stop.  
  
"Teddy." Merlin, the way Sirius says his name. He exhales and licks his lip, his eyes down when he feels Sirius's hand stop moving. "Look at me, Teddy." He does and what he sees there sends a jolt of arousal, surprise and anticipation all the way down to his toes. He needs to get his groove on, what is wrong with him? This is the man he's been dreaming of for months.  
  
"You have no idea, do you Sirius? I've been looking at you a long time," Teddy tells him and when did his voice take on that tone? But judging by the way Sirius's pupils dilate, he thinks he likes it. He licks his lips as their eyes are locked and sees Sirius's grey gaze dart to his mouth. "Kiss me," he says softly or at least tries to because mid-sentence, Sirius grabs the sides of his face in both hands and crushes their lips together.  
  
It's like the Earth just moved from its axis.  
  
Teddy grabs hold of Sirius's collar as he makes an inarticulate noise that he has no time to be embarrassed about. He feels the wetness of Sirius's tongue against his lips and parts them to feel their tongues touch. God, this is just incredible.  
  
Sirius keeps kissing him even as Teddy feels himself being pushed back on his bed with Sirius's weight on top of him. He has never been kissed so much and certainly not like this, it's unbelievable how hot just kissing can make him.  
  
Their shirts come off and Teddy is panting in anticipation and lust by the time Sirius pulls his trouser down with some difficulty as he curses the leather. Teddy laughs a little before his cock is freed and Sirius's fingers are closed around it. It doesn't take much, either Sirius is just as good as he says or Teddy is just too hot for this man. Either way, he comes fast the first time and Sirius kisses him again with promises of more. He has way too much clothes on and Teddy, in his haste ends up butting his head against Sirius's chin while trying to pull off his chinos.  
  
"Shit! Sorry—I—" Sirius's eyes are watery but he shakes his head and instead nuzzles Teddy's hair.  
  
"'S alright. But there's no need to hurry." Teddy can feel his face flaming. "We've got all night." They don't take all night but eventually they slow down and Teddy eagerly positions himself on his hands and knees when Sirius prepares him. It burns but Teddy knows that is expected and it is good, really, until Sirius's fingers find a spot inside him that blinds him with pleasure and he is impatient to be filled by the man.  
  
"Sirius. Just…please." He sounds desperate, pleading but if it gets Sirius to move past foreplay, he is ready to grovel at the man's feet at this point. The git of a man has the nerve to smile at him.  
  
Sirius doesn't rush no matter how much Teddy tries to coax him though, how bad can it be? Sirius kisses the back of his neck and murmurs softly to him that this is going to hurt and Teddy knows that but when Sirius is actually starting to enter him, at one point he thinks he will break.  
  
The pain.  
  
Teddy cries out and Sirius kisses his hair, holds him still, tells him that it's okay and after what feels like hours, Teddy clutches the bed sheet in a way that makes his knuckles white as Sirius moves inside him. In his head, things had always been much smoother, their bodies moving more in an artful dance and sounding soft yet sexy.  
  
But even as his arms are aching and he can feel the heat as their bodies are covered in perspiration, he feels the pain receding as Sirius continues moving and suddenly he is hit with the thought that this is Sirius who is kissing his shoulder, Sirius whose one hand is wrapped around his torso in a tight embrace while his other is holding his hip steady. Sirius who is _in_ him; the sensation of being so full…Merlin. This is better than anything, better than his feeble dreams because this is real and it is happening to him.  
  
He cries out again, in pleasure now when Sirius finds that spot again and he sees stars as pleasure builds up and up and he shouts as it explodes out of him and he can vaguely feel Sirius's warmth filling him up.  
  
"Merlin's…Teddy? Hey, kid, you alright?" Sirius asks him when Teddy slumps, utterly spent and soundless. He wants to say that he isn't a ‘kid' but he is honestly just too wrung out. He feels Sirius's hands holding him by the waist and turning him around as if it is no mean feat and sees the look of relief cross his features.  
  
"That was incredible. Was it alright for you?" he has an expression that is so tender it has Teddy wanting to cradle the man in his arms and cuddle up with.  
  
"Yeah," Teddy replies tiredly as he smiles dopily. "Better than alright. Amazing. Brill…liant. Illu…min…ating." Teddy doesn't even know what he is saying and trails off as he hears Sirius laugh. He feels a warmth of _something_ inside as Sirius kisses the top of his head before he is out like a light.  


 

*

  
  
Despite Teddy's proclamations that he will absolutely not leave his bed and tie Sirius down if he must, they do leave the bedroom to get on with the rest of the day as a phone call from Harry informs Teddy that there is a family dinner in honour of Teddy's birthday at his house. Sweet. Sirius watches Teddy's arse as he goes into the kitchen clad in his boxers.  
  
Dinner at Harry's is loud and Lily ends up breaking a vase which results in Dominique getting a cut on the sole of her left foot and Fleur admonishing her for walking bare feet in somebody's _'ouse_ like a savage man.  
  
Sirius finds himself looking up and often catching Teddy's eyes at which point they both smile ridiculously and look away as the heat in the other's eyes also keeps going up with time.  
  
"Sirius! Mate!" Ron calls out loudly and Sirius snaps out of the daze he had been in when Teddy had decided to place his foot against his crotch under the table.  
  
"Yes?" he asks politely as he cuts into the roasted ham. Harry also gives him a strange look.  
  
"We've been calling you for forever. You were really out of it." Ron tells him and Hermione rolls her eyes.  
  
"Ronald, it's obvious that Sirius has somebody on his mind." she says like it's normal and Sirius looks at her alarmed; they are not ready to say anything yet and Teddy's eyes reflect his own worry.  
  
"Oh," Ron says before grinning. "Is it a man?" he asks and Harry has that expression where he looks like he wants to slam his head on the table. Sirius plays along.  
  
"Yes. It is actually."  
  
"Anyone we know?" Hermione asks politely and Sirius's gaze narrows; she definitely has some inkling of suspicion.  
  
"You wouldn't know him," Sirius tells her, remembering ‘Jon-short for Jonathan'. "I like my men red-headed, just so you know." He purposely throws a wink at Ron's direction that has him going green faced and Hermione snorting as she thumps her husband on the back.  
  
Teddy and Sirius say a hasty goodbye with the excuse of Sirius's work and Teddy's leftover homework saying that Sirius is just going to pick up his watch that he left at Teddy's flat last evening.  
  
Their feet barely touch the ground and they fall into each other, hands grabbing each other's clothes and almost tearing them away.  
  
"Couldn't...wait. God," Teddy pants against his mouth as Sirius's hand finds its way into Teddy's trouser and underwear. It had been a too bloody long dinner, especially when they had gotten the wizard monopoly out.  
  
Sirius moves his hand around to squeeze Teddy's bottom as they kiss messily. He pulls away to find Teddy's pupils dilated in lust. He pushes aside the werewolf's shirt and allows their bare chests to touch.  
  
"Come on. I'm not standing while doing this," Teddy says and pulls him towards the sofa. Sirius grins as he follows, he would rather not do it standing either; his back will probably not be able to take it. And since Teddy seems to be making up for lost time and getting as much out of this as possible before he leaves for Hogwarts, Sirius thinks it is better to be careful now rather than end up having back pains that kill the mood.  
  
"I'm not turning to a redhead just because they're your type," Teddy says seriously when Sirius yanks his head back to suck on his collarbone.  
  
"Psh. That was a load of bollocks and you know it," Sirius says before nibbling on his earlobe, "you talk too much." Apparently Teddy's ear is a sweet spot because he becomes inarticulate as Sirius rubs one ear and continues nibbling on the other. It must be a canine thing, Sirius decides.  


 

*

  
  
Sirius does end up with a terrible back ache despite all his precaution and Teddy snorts in the middle of packing his trunk. Four uninterrupted nights spent together and this is what he gets.  
  
"Young boys these days. Such disrespect, Edward Lupin," Sirius grumbles from his place on the bed where he is lying on his stomach as a stab of pain shoots up his spine; it must have been the time when Sirius had persuaded Teddy to look like him and then shagged him behind the sofa. He is an idiot, but he hadn't realised how good he really looked in passion and how many people can boast of having gotten off with themselves? And Teddy is right in calling him an utter narcissist.  
  
"Serves you right," Teddy tells him as he folds his tie and Sirius eyes it, mind falling into the gutter like a teenager's. It must be all the body fluids he has been exchanging with Teddy, maybe he has caught some kind of hormone condition where all he thinks of is sex; it must be. "Shouldn't have gotten so caught up in shagging yourself."  
  
"Easy for you to say," Sirius replies, slightly annoyed and jealous, "you'll be flying and shagging Merlin-knows-how-many boys." He moans in pain and burrows his head into the pillow. The shuffling of clothes stop abruptly and he hears only his heavy breathing.  
  
"Sirius?" Teddy says quietly and Sirius is forced to turn his head to look at the young man as he sits down and the bed dips. "I—I'm sorry for this, but I sort of assumed that we'd be exclusive." Sirius blinks.  
  
"Exclusive?" he echoes as if never having heard the word before. Teddy wants to be exclusive? With him? Something eases up in his chest.  
  
"Yeah," Teddy replies and looks into his eyes. "Is that a problem? No wait, don't answer that. You're right; we're completely free to see other people of course."  
  
"Teddy. No!" Sirius exclaims and shifts to catch Teddy's arm and the movement causes a spike of pain to shoot up. "Aaah! F—" he bites his lip as he slowly lowers himself, loathing the feeling.  
  
"Hey. You alright?" Teddy asks as he has a hand on his shoulder immediately and Sirius holds his hand out and after a second looks at him.  
  
"Yeah," he affirms and then turns on his pleading eyes, "I didn't want to cramp your style, Teddy. But if it's alright with you, then I'd like being exclusive too." God, what words people come up with these days. Teddy looks surprised and then smiles shyly, it is so odd to see him always getting this way whenever things turned to intimacy that does not include sex.  
  
"That's great. So I guess, we're boyfriends?" Such a petty word, Sirius thinks but he nods. Teddy grins mischievously as he reaches to his bedside drawer and holds up a tube. Sirius raises his eye brow.  
  
"Taking advantage of a defenceless man? Didn't think you were into that sort of kink." Teddy laughs as he pushes away the sheet covering Sirius's lower body and pats his bottom.  
  
"There's a lot I'm into you have yet to learn," he tells him as he unscrews the cap and extracts a clear gel with a strong odour, "but no, I'm merely playing the part of a good boyfriend.  
  
Sirius is surprised when Teddy actually just massages the gel onto his back with strong hands and he moans in relief; it is more of an affectionate feeling which Sirius has come to expect with Teddy since his childhood. Then Teddy goes and destroys the illusion of good boy as he promises of all the dirty things he will do when he gets out of school into his ears.  


 

*

  
  
Teddy barely has time to do anything besides studying; Charles has become a bossy git. He is still being a homophobic prick but not enough to leave Teddy alone, instead he is pushing him to bring his grades up to O's. He misses Sirius but Quidditch and NEWTs preparation does lessen the sting of it all and he often thinks of the end of the school year when he can see Sirius with no restrictions, whenever he wants.  
  
However by the time April's full moon arrives, Teddy is sighing heavily as he taps his wand on his phone; he's been trying for months to make the bloody thing work. He lets his head fall on the library table. He knows he is being a bit of an idiot but his body has been craving Sirius's touch in a way that it is all he can think of.  
  
He grudgingly writes a short note to Sirius and makes his way to the Owlery so he can send it. He just hopes Sirius can make it by tomorrow night; there is only so much he can do with his hand. Although that is partly an excuse, there is a twinge in his heart at how much he simply _misses_ the man's presence.  
  
Sirius does arrive to the shack next evening and Teddy, naked on the bed shivers as he feels Sirius coming up the winding path. He opens the trapdoor and Teddy sits up to take in Sirius's face, he is still beautiful. Teddy wants to make him his. He _has_ to.  
  
He sees Sirius looking around and finally settling on him, his eyes widen and Teddy beckons him over to the bed. The moment Sirius reaches the bed; Teddy pulls him by the lapels of his robe and onto him for a hungry, wild kiss that is punctuated by loud growls, tongue and saliva that leaves Sirius's lush lips glistening. They snog furiously until they surface for air.  
  
"Teddy?" The young man takes Sirius's hand in his and sucks on a finger while fondling his crotch at the same time; he just needs him so much, he is burning up with desire now that he is here.  
  
"Be mine," Teddy says in a soft tone punctuated with a growl as he nips Sirius's bottom lip firmly leaving no room for argument. Sirius looks surprised at that and hesitant as his hand circles Teddy's wrist, stopping his ministrations on his clothed cock.  
  
"Teddy, I—" Sirius breaks off as Teddy pushes him down on to his back and pins his wrists on the rickety bed.  
  
"I want you," Teddy whispers hoarsely as he grinds his pelvis into Sirius's below him and the man lets out a breathy moan, "I know you do too, Sirius." He shakes his head to clear it when Sirius does not look as into this as he should.  
  
"What's wrong?" Teddy asks even as the wolf whines somewhere but somehow taking Sirius against his will is not what it wants to do and Teddy is glad his wolf is so in tune to his own emotions; Aunt Hermione had explained it as probably a result of his acceptance of his own nature. "Sirius?"  
  
"It's nothing," Sirius tells him even as he looks emotionally strained and Teddy cannot help but cup the side of his face in his hands gently, ignoring his body's needs for the moment.  
  
"It's not ‘nothing', Sirius. Tell me. Please." He waits for Sirius to open up to him but the older man doesn't and instead reaches out and pulls him into an embrace.  
  
"It's just been a while. Come on, get on with it then," Sirius says and Teddy hesitates a second but Sirius grins and says, "Have you changed your mind?" Teddy's wolf snaps and he growls before diving into pleasuring Sirius and making him his own.  
  
It is when Teddy is inside Sirius and he is looking down at the man who is covered in love-bites and sheen of sweat and is breathing so heavily as if he is as overwhelmed as Teddy himself that Teddy comes inside him, his fingers dig into his hipbones and his back bows. Sirius cries out, erupting on his own stomach and before he can stop himself, Teddy slips out and lowers his mouth to taste Sirius's essence.  
  
What he doesn't expect is the shudder that wracks Sirius's body and he looks up to see Sirius with his arm thrown over his eyes and his breathing heavy. He sits up slowly as the afterglow fades into something heavy.  
  
"Sirius?" Now that the heat is gone, Teddy's voice sounds timid to his own ears. He tries to understand exactly what he did…apart from almost forcing Sirius into this. Oh, God…  
  
Sirius rubs the heel of his palm against his eyes before facing Teddy and smiling in a way that tugs at Teddy's heart. "It's okay; told you, it's just been a long time since—" Teddy's heart suddenly sinks as he realises that the last time Sirius had given himself to someone this way had obviously been with his father.  
  
"—come here," Sirius is telling him and all of a sudden he is the one feeling like a child again and they manoeuvre their bodies to fit in the bed as he lies on his side and wraps a hand loosely around him.  
  
Are they okay though? Teddy feels Sirius's fingers in his hair and looks up to see the man with a distant look in his eyes as if he is remembering some long-forgotten memory lost in the nostalgia; utterly debauched, beautiful, his and so very far from him.  


 

*

  
  
Something changes between them after that and Sirius finds himself thinking more often about Teddy. He wonders if he is poring over books like Remus used to, or maybe he is having a last laugh with his friends before leaving Hogwarts, it is funny how children grow up.  
  
He also finds it funny how having Teddy inside him had opened up dams of nostalgia; it had always been only Remus he had allowed to take him, and the fact that he finds the thought of Teddy wanting him to such an extent so desirable makes him realise that this is more than what he had originally bargained for. Not even in a bad way; he actually is starting to want this more and more.  
  
Then Molly, though good-hearted has to go shattering the illusion of their relationship and asking Harry if he doesn't think it is somewhat strange that Teddy, a boy of this age and time has not yet brought home a ‘a nice, sweet girl' for them to meet.  
  
Sirius knows he has been pushing back all feelings of guilt and the thoughts like ‘maybe this is wrong' or ‘what the hell are we even doing'. Teddy is young and vibrant and still able to be an utter romantic. Sirius just is not. The thought consumes him and he finds himself thinking about all the alternatives that their relationship is preventing Teddy from exploring.  
  
"Is everything alright with you?" Teddy asks him through the two-way mirror and Sirius can see the shimmering snitches on curtains around him; Teddy is surprisingly very good with decorative spells.  
  
"Yes. Of course it is." Teddy frowns at that.  
  
"Sirius, I know that when you say that, it means something is definitely wrong. Talk to me, come on." Sirius does consider telling him what Molly has been saying but what is the point?  
  
"—should have seen his face when I sucked him off." Sirius's gaze snaps towards the mirror and he sees the grin on Teddy's face when he realises that he had zoned out. He does scowl though.  
  
"Which ‘he' are we talking about here? Is there any need for some young bones to be broken?" Teddy laughs raucously at him and Sirius finds himself calming down.  
  
"Got your attention, didn't it? You have nothing to fear from the younglings, they do not hold a candle to one as mighty as yourself," he says in an exaggerated tone before sobering up, "but seriously, you know I've only got eyes for you. Sometimes I don't understand how the girls in this school actually end up with any of these boys." Sirius grins at the unsaid _‘Nobody here is good enough'._  
  
"Is that your way of telling me how much you miss this gentleman?" Teddy smiles slyly at that.  
  
"The sexy, _old_ man's body is more like it." Sirius's mouth almost drops at that.  
  
"You little prat! Just wait till I get my hands on you."  
  
"I'll be waiting." Teddy replies with a wink. Sirius grins when Teddy vanishes; Molly Weasley can go to hell, she's got enough sons to deal with meeting ‘a nice, sweet girl'.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
When Teddy does leave Hogwarts, landing a job becomes his priority as it should. But Sirius can see him getting anxious with time after time of rejections despite his best efforts to appear his usual playful self. Sometimes Sirius thinks he is only free from worry when the moon is full and his mind is more animalistic than the complicated human one.  
  
He is certainly one determined young man, Sirius realises when Teddy refuses to give in and continues looking for ways to end up as the _‘bloody, best Curse-breaker ever'_.  
  
"Why a Curse-breaker?" Ron asks Teddy curiously once, earning a thoughtful look from him.  
  
"I dunno, maybe it's the danger element, y'know?" he says and continues, "But part of it is because—because Goblins don't judge you for being a werewolf." It gives Sirius the kind of hope that he had lost when Remus had been young and turned away so many times.  
  
Teddy, he thinks, might just be able to have his way after all; his youthfulness and stubborn drive is infectious and Sirius finds himself along with some of the family always encouraging Teddy. Unfortunately, he is also Remus's son and as such, does find the idea of any influence of the names Black or Potter unwelcome.  
  
"What in the world were you doing?" Sirius asks with a raised brow one time when he enters Teddy's flat, pizza boxes in hand-a mushroom just for Teddy and a barbeque for himself-and the young man jumps as he quickly turns the telly off muttering something and Sirius grins. "What was that?"  
  
"I didn't think you'd be back so early." Teddy tries to dissuade him as he takes the boxes from Sirius. "You didn't forget the extra toppings, did you?" Sirius places a hand on his heart.  
  
"You wound me," he replies, "to think that this is what I get, and after all the trouble I went to for your extra mushroom toppings too." Teddy rolls his eyes.  
  
"Since when is using your masculine charm so much trouble, you perverted old man?" Sirius swats the air as Teddy ducks and makes his way into the kitchen for plates as he cackles loudly. "Old age will do that to you, maybe you need glasses."  
  
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Sirius shouts at his retreating form and shakes his head and rolls his shoulders to relieve the stiffness; maybe he is getting old. He sighs and grabs the remote from the sofa as he grins; Teddy had obviously been watching dirty videos. That boy!  
  
Sirius is surprised when the telly comes on and sits down comfortably with a grin. Oh, this is just too good; he is going to give Teddy such a hell of a time. Teddy returns, whistling and stops abruptly when he sees the telly on. He groans.  
  
"Aww, come on," he says when he sees Sirius grinning madly, "shut up. Don't say a word, I'm serious." Sirius increases the volume and falls back laughing.  
  
"Oh. Oh, Teddy, you're just so—" he breaks off chuckling as the pink-clad girl lands a blow on the large robot that topples backwards and presumably dies. He seals his lips shut at Teddy's scowl.  
  
"Alright, look, I'm not belittling your taste—"  
  
"You better not!" Teddy interrupts before turning the telly off by the button on the machine itself and then turns to Sirius with his arms crossed. "You will forget that this ever happened. And eat. Don't say a word." Sirius nods and Teddy warily takes a seat beside the older man. A minute later-  
  
"Teddy—"  
  
"No, I don't want to hear anything."  
  
"I'm just saying—" Sirius stuffs his own slice of pizza into his mouth to shut him, "—that it's absolutely okay to watch Power Rangers in secret. Or you know, not in secret is also fine," he adds. Teddy gobbles down the slice and smacks him in the arm.  
  
"No one should know," he says in a serious tone and Sirius nods before kissing his cheek, overcome with a sudden bout of affection.  
  
"Of course they won't, love," Sirius reassures him and does not think too much about the slip of the endearment. "If it makes you feel any better, I do find it dreadfully cute." Teddy scowls and swats him in the arm again.  
  
"Don't go calling the werewolf cute!" Sirius rubs his arm.  
  
"Such violent tendencies," he says easily, "the things I endure for you." Teddy smiles widely and pats his arm.  
  
"You poor, old thing."  
  
"You little wanker!"  


 

*

  
  
Teddy tries keeping his spirits up, most of the time it isn't too difficult but after months of rejection, he finds himself falling into bouts of depression again. He really does not do depression well; he snaps at everyone, feels the anger threaten to overwhelm him and make him want to just crush every offending person like bugs and the world just looks bleak all around. He hates this feeling.  
  
On a Tuesday like this Teddy is throwing a ball made out of a crumpled rejection letter and summoning it before throwing it again as he ponders on the hopelessness of his future. He can't get help from his godfather, he just can't. It is hard to explain it to somebody, even Sirius so he doesn't. He is related to all these people whose lives and names are on pages of books and yet sometimes he realises that he honestly cannot relate to the way they talk of the war, of almost anything. He is always _‘Harry Potter's godson'_ or _‘Remus Lupin's son'_ or something along those lines. He just wants to be _Teddy Lupin_.  
  
Then Sirius shoves his MacBook on to his lap with a manic grin and Teddy is forcefully pulled up from his spot on the sofa where he had been drowning in his misery.  
  
"We're going to America," Sirius announces and Teddy stares at him gob smacked.  
  
"What?" But Sirius does not let him gather his thoughts before he finds himself packing a bag and by evening rushing between Muggles to catch a plane—an actual fucking Muggle airplane—with Sirius jogging right before him.  
  
"Mental," Teddy wheezes out when they are seated in a place that is nothing like what Uncle Ron has described to him, "absolutely fucking crazy." Sirius catches his breath before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.  
  
"You're welcome. First class seats," he adds when Teddy looks around interestedly. He adjusts his seat and retrieves the remote controller making Teddy's eyes go round.  
  
"Seriously?" Sirius nods and Teddy leans back with a blissful look. "Whoever said money can't buy happiness is an idiot." Sirius laughs right until they take off.  
  
They have basically run away from home without telling anybody; as if they have eloped like a starry-eyed young couple. It almost feels like pretend honeymoon bliss, Teddy thinks on Thursday as he lies lazily on the expensive sofa that feels wonderful under his back, his legs propped up on Sirius's knees as the man solves a crossword intently, sucking the end of the pen occasionally before jotting the words down. Teddy stares at Sirius's handsome features now that he has gotten a proper haircut. His hands itch to finger through the dark hair.  
  
"Sometimes, Teddy, you make me feel so young," Sirius tells him in an unguarded moment as Teddy is almost drowning in the blissful softness of the bed that night. He does however, look at Sirius at that and the man has a thoughtful gaze directed at him.  
  
"Young?" Teddy asks and Sirius's brows draw together before answering.  
  
"Young. Alive." That is all he says before roughly pulling him in to kiss the top of his head and ruffle his turquoise hair.  
  
They rent a motorcycle that is almost as big as Sirius's one and Sirius lets him have a go after which Teddy lets Sirius drive them around. He wraps his arms around his torso and as he rests his cheek against Sirius's shoulder blades, he finds himself smiling because it will get better; he is going to give it a try again.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
"Well, a man could get used to this," Sirius says, a slow smile curving his lips as he blatantly stares at Teddy's back as the younger man mutters to himself while dressing himself in front of the mirror. Teddy pauses and smiles at his image in the mirror. _Damn_! The formal-casual look really is really rather fetching on him.  
  
"You just want to get into my pants again, don't you?" Teddy states with a glance in his direction and Sirius waggles his eyebrows. "Dirty old man."  
  
"Oi! Who're you calling old, Teddy, __dear__?" he asks in mock seriousness, "and yes, to answer your question, I am planning on it—" Teddy rolls his eyes, "—what? I see no reason to lie." Teddy chuckles at him lightly before grabbing a blue tube of hair-gel. Sirius watches him for a few seconds and then shifts, head resting in the crook of his elbow.  
  
"Nervous?" he asks conversationally and Teddy spares him a look before shrugging.  
  
"Nah, not really." Sirius almost smiles at that. Definitely a lie if he ever saw one. He shifts and props himself up on an elbow.  
  
"Hey, come here for a second." Teddy looks at the mirror, his hand still holding the unopened tube. Sirius moves the bed sheet covering part of his leg and pats the space beside him. "Come on now, I don't bite. Unless I'm really in the mood." he adds with a wink. Teddy drops the tube on his dressing table and sits down beside Sirius.  
  
"What?" he asks in a slightly gruff tone.  
  
"Don't ‘what' me, young man," Sirius replies easily and reaches out with his free hand to twine their fingers. "Look, what are you so scared of? You have the ‘O's, you're brilliant at practically everything —"  
  
"Except brewing potions—" Teddy injects and Sirius tightens his hand with a serious look.  
  
"Teddy," he admonishes and looks at him earnestly, "I know the things you've been told about the ministry but believe me, it's not like it used to be twenty years back." He pauses, abandoned memories of Remus tugging painfully at his heart—Remus pulling on his own hair in frustration, Remus kicking at their door and apologizing, Remus quiet and resigned after every encounter with the bigoted world of magic.  
  
"They're a lot more lenient with werewolves now." Teddy still has his jaws clenched as if scared of what might come out if he dares open his mouth. "What have you got to lose anyway?" Teddy looks at him and Sirius let go of his hand in favour of pulling him in for a light kiss. Teddy's shoulders relax slightly and they break apart. Teddy is smiling.  
  
"I guess you're right," he says and Sirius smiles smugly.  
  
"Of course I'm right. Aren't I always?" he replies and Teddy laughs as he pushes away from Sirius and stands in front of the mirror again.  
  
"Is kissing your way of trying to convince everybody that you're _always_ right?" he asks as he squirts out a blob of gel and rubs it between his hands expertly. Sirius watches his fingers at work and then looked at the younger man's reflection.  
  
"Only with you," Sirius tells him with a sly smile before sobering up, "this isn't like you, Teddy." Teddy stares at his hands for a second before grinning as he looks up to meet Sirius's eyes in the mirror.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Since when have I given a rat's arse about what anyone thinks of me?" he continues to grin and run his hands through his hair, smoothing the gel evenly.  
  
"Edward Lupin!" Sirius exclaims in a perfect imitation of Andromeda and Teddy snorts. Sirius tilts his head to look at Teddy as he smooths his brown hair back with a comb; the effect is startling actually. "You know, you actually do look like an ‘Edward'," he tells the nineteen year-old who wrinkles his nose as he turns back.  
  
"Oh God, no; not you too," Teddy moans. "I resent that," he adds as he turns back to see his reflection in the mirror. He really does look different, not like a whole new person but…good; even he has to admit that. He smiles and is about to make a pass at Sirius when he catches sight of Sirius in the mirror.  
  
The mix of wonder, longing and something akin to pain on his strong features has Teddy's smile disappearing.  
  
"Sirius?" As if waking up from a trance, Sirius's eyes clears and he looks away, swallowing before pushing himself up. In three seconds flat Sirius has summoned his clothes and is quickly buttoning his shirt. "Sirius?" Teddy repeats, alarmed at the sudden change.  
  
"I have to go," Sirius says in a rush as he stands up and buttons his trousers.  
  
"What—"  
  
"You have an interview, I shouldn't be keeping you." He doesn't even look up as he glances around the room to check if he had left anything and then with a word of farewell strides to the door and pulls it open.  
  
Teddy stares at the open door through which Sirius has just left until he hears his front door close. What had just happened?  
  
He looks down to see his hands shaking slightly.  


 

*

  
  
_"Moons."  
  
"Stop that, Sirius."  
  
"Moaning Moony, like the Moaning Myrtle—"  
  
"Sirius!" the look that Remus throws at Sirius makes his grin widen further and he continues lying down on his stomach and proceeds to flick his wand towards Remus's book causing another page to flip. He is about to repeat it yet again when Remus sends a nonverbal stinging hex at his hand and he yelps as his wand clatters on to the floor.  
  
"Oi! You git!" Sirius shouts as the werewolf flicks his wand and seals the curtains on his bed from outside. He can hear Remus shuffling to find his page as he speaks up in amusement.  
  
"Don't know why I put up with immature idiots like you." Sirius grins from behind the curtains as he contemplates tearing them apart.  
  
"Obviously, it's your undying love for me, Moon-Moon," he replies as he rests his head on the crook of his elbow with an easy smile; he can almost feel Remus's smile from inside.  
  
"Obviously," Remus agrees. "But can you refrain from coming up with such daft variations of my name?"  
  
"No. That can't happen, my dear sweet—" Sirius tears open the curtains with his bare hand and bounds down to lie beside Remus on the dormitory floor, "—bookworm-y little Moony."  
  
Remus groans and pushes Sirius's hand away when he ruffles his hair, "God, not you too. I like reading; it doesn't make me a ‘bookworm'. I resent being called that," he says in a tone that is considered vehement for Remus.  
  
Sirius blinks once before deciding that ‘Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' has spent far too much time in Remus's hands and pulls it out gently enough not to cause any crease or tear in it and places it carefully under Remus's bed in front of them.  
  
"And I absolutely love how you say that," he tells the werewolf as he tugs at the brown hair and pulls him in for a light brush of lips before running his tongue along the seam of those sinful lips. "You can be such a posh little boy sometimes." _  


 

*

  
  
The look Harry is trying not to give Sirius makes him sigh a little before he looks at his godson.  
  
"Padfoot, you know that everyone has been speculating. About you and Teddy," he adds and Sirius's first reaction is to deny everything because while he may be _‘out and proud'_ as people say these days, Teddy is not.  
  
"So we're the gossip-material now, are we?" Sirius asks with a hard smile and Harry fidgets slightly.  
  
"It's not like that, but Teddy and you are always together. You practically live with each other, Sirius. What am I supposed to think?"  
  
"That it isn't any of your business," Sirius tells him, "There's nothing wrong with friends spending time together."  
  
"But he's Remus's son, Sirius," Harry says quietly, "look, I'm not judging, you know I would never do that to you or Teddy." He looks so open and honest, he is, always has been, his godson. "Sirius—you and Teddy, the both of you mean so much to me. I just don't want anything happening to you guys."  
  
"I'm a bit of an idiot, aren't I?" Sirius finally replies and Harry's lips turn up at that.  
  
"Yeah well, Teddy would probably agree that it's more than ‘a bit'," he replies and Sirius chews on his lip as he tries to think how best to approach Teddy. The boy has actually not contacted him at all after his abrupt departure. It is only coincidence that Sirius had decided to visit Harry just today and is now getting to hear about Teddy landing the job as a curse-breaker.  
  
"I should talk to him," Sirius says, not particularly to anybody and Harry hums in response. "Is he—" His question gets interrupted by the crack of Apparition in the hallway.  
  
"Harry! Haaaarrryy! Where are you? Merlin, you'll—" Teddy's excited shouts halt as he reaches the living room and he spots Sirius with his godfather. His expression instantly closes off, "what is he doing here?" Sirius almost smiles at his attitude, he really is so young.  
  
"Congratulations, Teddy. I heard about the job." Teddy does look at him then and he still has his jaw shut so tight it looks painful. "Teddy, I think I owe you an apology." What? Old age makes a man wise...  
  
"You _think_ you owe me an apology?" Teddy even sounds incredulous. Alright, so maybe he hadn't said it correctly but the fierce look in his eyes, the bright hair that is slowly turning to a fiery red and his clenched fists is something so rare that Sirius is in awe of how much their relationship means to Teddy; it isn't just him.  
  
Then he makes the mistake of actually smiling. He realises this only when Teddy shouts out in anger and Sirius sees him moving closer and— _oh, shit_! He falls back against the sofa as Teddy pushes him.  
  
"You're a bloody, right git, you know that?"  
  
"Teddy!" Harry steps forward in alarm and holds his hands up when Teddy's head whips to glare at him, "alright, look, I get that you're mad at him. But let's try to talk about this like adults, okay?"  
  
"There is nothing to talk about," Teddy says heatedly and turns that angry gaze on Sirius. He really needs to fix the situation, and fast.  
  
"Teddy, Harry is right. Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm sorry. I really am." They lock gazes for a few moments that feel like hours and then Teddy turns on his heel and walks back the way he came.  
  
"Just. Whatever." He strides out and Harry and Sirius look at each other before Sirius hastily stands up with an apologetic look at his godson.  
  
"Harry—"  
  
"You better go after him." Harry assures him, "God knows why my godfather and godson turned out to be such immature prats," he says under his breath and Sirius grins before following Teddy.  
  
"Teddy! Teddy, stop!" Teddy of course, does no such thing and increases his pace as Sirius begins jogging after him, the amusement fading away as it looks like Teddy will need a proper explanation this time. "Teddy, please. Just hear me out."  
  
Teddy keeps walking and Sirius, in a last attempt as he angrily stops in the middle of the road shouts out, "Teddy!"  
  
"What?!" Sirius is stunned for a second that the boy has actually faced him even if from a distance before his expression changes to a scowl when Teddy speaks up. "Are you purposely being obtuse? Take a hint, Sirius; I _don't_ want to talk to you."  
  
"Are _you_ purposely being a blithering idiot?" Sirius throws at him and somewhere in his mind he thinks they must look like one of those couples who throw pots and pans, make scenes in public as they shout about the problems in their love life in every sordid detail and then have hot, make-up sex but Teddy is being such a _child_ about this.  
  
Teddy glares at him and then flips him the bird before turning away again. Sirius throws his hands up and kicks the air in front of him. _Fine._ Let him be that way.  
  
"What?" he barks at the woman staring at him wide-eyed. She scampers.  


 

*

  
  
_Twenty seconds._  
  
Teddy's hands are sweating as he is standing outside Sirius's door. He doesn't know if Sirius will open the door and then slam it in his face or maybe he will just not open the door at all.  
  
_Thirty four seconds._  
  
Maybe Sirius is not home and Teddy can just go back to his flat and resume packing.  
  
_Thirty seven seconds._ Teddy gasps as Sirius opens the door. He opens his mouth to greet him but his mouth goes dry at the sight of Sirius dressed casually but nicely, very nicely. He has three buttons on his violet shirt unbuttoned; only Sirius can make a colour like that look so damn good. But then, Sirius can make potato sacks look sexy probably.  
  
"Hello, Teddy. Fancy seeing you here," Sirius says in a normal voice and Teddy clears his throat.  
  
"Yeah, I guess I wanted to talk to you before I left. I got Chinese." He holds up the bag in a symbol of truce. Sirius opens the door wide and invites him inside.  
  
_It's okay, you can do this Teddy._  
  
"So, err— you look good." Is the first thing Teddy says to him when they settle down on the opposite ends of the sofa. He flushes and Sirius smiles.  
  
"I've got a date," Sirius replies and Teddy stares at him, gob smacked as Sirius continues looking at him as if to gauge his reaction.  
  
"You—you have a _date_?" he doesn't mean for it to come out that way but the fact that Sirius can have _dates_ and see other men as soon as the first sign of problem arose between them irks him. A flare of anger is working its way up in him but he does not want to leave on bad terms so he stands up. "In that case, I won't take up any more of your time." He checks his pockets to see if he hasn't accidentally dropped his phone and then steps forward.  
  
"Teddy," Sirius's slow drawl stops him and the man snakes an arm around his hand, then tugs it firmly, "you're so hasty to jump to conclusions these days."  
  
Teddy allows himself to fall into Sirius's lap a little ungracefully as his limbs flail and he scowls, feeling small in size.  
  
"You're so tense," Sirius tells him with a hand against the nape of his neck. He pushes the pads of his fingers against it and Teddy sighs involuntarily, "I don't want you to go away like this, Teddy," he says softly and the younger man opens his eyes to face Sirius.  
  
"Padfoot," he replies quietly, in truce as he rests an arm on the man's shoulder, "I know things are hard for you, I've been reading my dad's diary and it's got me thinking." Sirius has that look again, the one where he looks so vulnerable that it hits Teddy every time hard.  
  
"I get that it must be difficult for you when I—when I look so much like him. Was that it?" Sirius closes his eyes and Teddy caresses the side of his beautiful face, "it was, wasn't it? Was it something I said?" Sirius keeps his eyes cast downward as he presses his own hand against Teddy's against his cheek.  
  
"It was the way you said you resented being called Edward, it was just so—" He breaks off and Teddy _feels_ his ache somehow and tightens his arm around his shoulder, "—I'm sorry, nobody wants to hear about a past lover. But sometimes—"  
  
"It's alright," Teddy tells him even though it is not, it hurts but then they haven't been long enough together, hardly a year which is probably not as long for Sirius even if it makes him slightly giddy to think about it. "Just, don't withdraw from me like again, Sirius. Talk to me, I can't take it when you push me away."  
  
"Alright," Sirius complies and looks at Teddy with a look full of awe at his attitude and then smiles, "we should eat, it'll get late." Then Teddy remembers.  
  
"What about your date?" he asks crossly, knowing that now that they have made up, Sirius would probably cancel his date if persuaded enough. But then, Sirius is a bit of a gentleman.  
  
"Ah. Not a date, Teddy." Sirius bites his lip as if to hide a smile, "a _hot_ date. And he looks rather fetching in green, I must say. The piercing is working for him, was that supposed to be a surprise?" It takes Teddy as second to realise what he had said and he punches his arm, none too lightly.  
  
"You arse! You lied to me?" Sirius chuckles.  
  
"Harry did tell me you were planning on coming by." Teddy threads his fingers through the inky hair.  
  
"He knows about us?" Sirius pulls him closer and shifts to accommodate him on his lap.  
  
"I suppose he does, he has some idea at least. He is alright with it." He reassures the younger man before tugging on the single hoop in Teddy's ear with his teeth, "are we going to talk all day or would you like a visit to my bedroom." Teddy grins as his blood begins rushing.  
  
"How about we do this right here?"  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
They don't specify anything but for whatever reason, they remain in that state of limbo where neither is sure of the extent of each other's feelings but realise that what they have is good enough to keep going.  
  
"You can't come here whenever there is a full moon, Sirius. I know how inconvenient it can be." Sirius rolls his eyes over the phone fondly as he cradles it while reading over the draft of Albus's essay on vampires. He strikes out the line where the boy had suggested stuffing garlic down the throat and holds the phone tighter as if that will physically close their distance.  
  
"Ted, you should know that even Grindelwald coming back to life won't stop me." Teddy laughs into the phone.  
  
"Just a second," he says and Sirius hears shuffling on the other end and Teddy's conversation with probably the head of his team in a muffled and then more shuffling before Teddy returns to his phone. "Hey, sorry about that; Mr Marfain wanted an update on the dig." Sirius automatically smiles as that familiar sense of pride fills him at Teddy's jovial voice at being able to work for real, he always seems so happy even when he says he misses Sirius.  
  
"Mmm. And what about that Corson boy?" _‘Any need for broken bones?'_ He adds in his head.  
  
"Well, we aren't friends but I might have let it slip that my boyfriend was once a wanted mass-murderer, it isn't a problem, is it?" Sirius laughs out in surprise and gives him permission to tell tales of all his murdering conquests; it is easier now that those events are almost a lifetime away.  
  
They talk for a few minutes before Teddy has to leave and they hang up, with slight difficulty on Sirius's part. He sits still for a minute as he gathers his thoughts and realises that this thing with Teddy feels like something very serious.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Teddy wakes up to the smell of fried sausage and blinks up at the ceiling as the foreign aroma wafts into his nostrils. He turns to see the clock reading 9:30 A.M and stretches; Sirius really does know how to tire him out but then, he himself had been impatient enough to wait hours before Apparating with Sirius right into his bed. He snuggles into his old, familiar bed.  
  
He dons on Sirius's shirt over his sweatpants and pads into the kitchen and stands at the doorway admiring Sirius's bare shoulders as he is stirring something on the stove. He smiles; it isn't that he minds the food in Amman, but Merlin, if he hasn't missed a proper English meal.  
  
"Come on in, kid," Sirius says without seeing and Teddy grins at his doggy-senses as he walks up and presses his body against the older man's.  
  
"Don't call me that," he replies automatically, "I swear I'll go all bad wife on you and withdraw sex." Sirius laughs at that and turns slightly to kiss his nose.  
  
"Don't be so cruel, I'm only teasing," Sirius tells him and Teddy rests his head on a shoulder as he watches the man flip the bacon in the pan.  
  
"Mmm, maybe I'll make it worth your while if you do stop," he whispers as he nuzzles into the joint of his neck and shoulder, "a home-cooked meal? I think you're the closest thing to ‘the perfect man' every woman dies for." Sirius turns the stove off and rubs his chin on Teddy's head.  
  
"Aren't you glad you snagged me before someone else did?" Teddy nods against his neck and pulls away.  
  
"Can I help?" Sirius hands him a plate onto which he flips the bacon perfectly. "Showoff," Teddy mutters but walks away to set up the table.  
  
He is turning over the glasses when the noise of the coffee maker startles him and he looks up to see Sirius fiddling around with mugs and the sugar pot. There is something so domestic about the picture, Teddy thinks as his heart begins thudding and his stomach drops low when Sirius pours the coffee into two mugs—one which is Teddy's and the other that has become Sirius's now as he drops by often—that all he can think of is that this is what he wants.  
  
This is it for him. With that realisation comes a momentary panic followed by a sweet contentment as Sirius turns around and smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling and all he can think of is how much he is in love with Sirius.  
  
"Alright?" Sirius asks him, as he cocks his head when he places their mugs in front of them and Teddy is staring at him. He shakes out of his thoughts and returns the smile.  
  
He doesn't reply and instead, leans over the table and kisses Sirius on the mouth, startling the man.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
After a year of working with magical artefacts and dark curses and having been on the receiving end of few, Teddy knows something isn't right when out of curiosity one morning after he is back in his flat for Christmas, he reads his father's diary for the first time in ages.  
  
There are full blank pages between entries that record Albus Dumbledore's death and his joy at Teddy's birth. He knows his father's style of writing; his entries are never abruptly changing and he had never missed months of writing. Somehow, armed with skills and ideas now, Teddy does manage to make the writing visible and he stares in awe at his own work before diving into it curiously; why would his father hide something that was already personal and for his own eyes only?  
  
Teddy shuts the book when it is getting dark and he looks up to see how fast the time has flown in a detached manner.  
  
_I think I may be able to make it work after all, if all the research is correct.  
Somehow, I don't believe I will get to live all that long being a werewolf; it only seems right to take a chance with this trade._ Teddy reads about the details of the resurrection spells that Remus had gone in search of, the travelling, bogus sources and old books. He reads on, unable to grasp what his father had done.  
  
_I pray this works, that he lives and that he can have a chance at life. If it fails, then I will see you in time._  
  
He drops the book, thoughts muddling his head as he tries to wrap it around the lengths his father had gone to for Sirius. Does Sirius know? Does anybody? Judging by the way this information had been hidden; Teddy can guess that nobody has any clue. Just him and his father.  
  
Teddy flings the book in a moment of overwhelmed emotions and before he knows what he is doing, the dressing table is upturned in one swift motion. The sound of the crash and clatter as his drawers fall open spilling their contents does very little to calm him down. In the midst of all the wreckage he spots a shattered photo frame that remains in the very back of the second drawer-the only proper photo he has of his parents smiling in genuine happiness while holding up a chubby baby Teddy between them.  
  
Somehow, seeing their phony smiles sends another spike of rage through him and he kicks the wreckage for good measure before whirling around and tramping outside for a walk.  
If his father hadn't given a flying fuck about him and instead gone and traded his life for another man, then he isn't going to waste his breath on the bastard that had been his father.  
  
He ignores all phone calls for all of two days and when he receives a text message from Sirius signed with a _‘ <3, Padfoot'_, he hurls it against the floor because it is just so fucking hard to suddenly hate the man you are so in love with.  


 

*

  
  
Sirius tries not to show it but he is worried. Teddy looks up to see Sirius watching him before smiling patronisingly and turning back to his crossword. The telly is showing Power Rangers.  
  
"Don't look at me like that," Teddy snaps from his side of the sofa a few minutes later when the constant glances from Sirius has gotten too much. Sirius pins him with a gaze. He sighs and folds the newspaper and keeps it on the side table, and turns the telly off before turning to face Teddy.  
  
"Alright, this has gone on for too long," he says, "you've been worse than a woman in bloodied knickers ever since you've been back. Did something happen?" If only Sirius knew.  
  
"Doesn't matter," Teddy answers resentfully, "why don't you leave if I've been such a bitch to be around?" He sees Sirius huff angrily at his tone and feels oddly satisfied. He has no idea why he is taking things out on Sirius of all people; he has been the only one still dealing with his sudden change in mood. And he is taking it surprisingly well when he never takes this sort of shit from anybody else.  
  
"You know I wouldn't do that, Ted," Sirius tells him and the young man kicks at the table in front of them before standing up in a flash.  
  
"Why do you always have to be like that? Can't I have a bad day and not talk about it?"  
  
"It isn't just one bad day though, Ted," Sirius explains calmly despite Teddy's rising voice, "I'm not forcing you, but you've never been one to bottle things up. It does matter to me when something is so obviously eating you up inside." There is that again, the way Sirius is so worried about him, the way he cares and it has Teddy losing some of his anger.  
  
"Why?" he asks quietly, "why does it matter so much to you?" Sirius stares at him incredulously before leaving his own seat and coming around the sofa to reach him.  
  
"Are you insane?" he turns Teddy to face him by the shoulders, "I care about you, you daft wolf; of course it matters to me what happens to you, Ted." Teddy could have argued further, especially after being called ‘daft' but then he looks at Sirius, really looks at him and sees the expression of concern and something so deep it tugs at his heartstrings.  
  
Suddenly, he thinks he understands why his father did what he did.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it; at least not now." Not ever, if Teddy can help it but then, Sirius has a right to know since it concerns his own life and all. He leans into Sirius and wraps his arms around as he holds him tightly to confirm that Sirius is still here and real in the flesh.  
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Sirius asks when Teddy does not let go after a minute. He does not reply; he can't. It is too easy to imagine Sirius gone, Sirius not being there anymore and just the thought of it causes a crushing pain to fill up inside Teddy. To think that his father had had to actually face it. But then Sirius is here and Teddy is being an utter idiot.  
  
"I'm fine," Teddy tells him with the first smile in days and tugs Sirius closer for a kiss. He doesn't let go of Sirius until he has to leave hours later.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
They have been together for two years somehow, a little more actually and Harry thinks it may be a good time as any to let the family know about the two of them. Teddy shrugs and Sirius agrees; at least it will keep Victoire's painted claws off his Teddy every time she sees him. Just because she is beautiful and closer to his age…  
  
"You know, Andromeda, I have a lot of respect for you. But I might just be losing a lot of it now," Sirius tells his cousin acidly as they stand outside in the Weasley's garden after what Sirius had hoped would have been an anticlimactic _‘coming out together'_ like in the books where everybody automatically knows how you have always been in love with each other and all that rubbish.  
  
It had been awful to say in the least and not because of Victoire's reaction to it as she had cried out shrilly and thrown over the plate of Fleur's special Crème Brûlée. In the end, Ginny had stepped in before things had gotten out of hand and asked to talk to Teddy alone. Sirius couldn't stand being in there with all the gawking teenagers.  
  
"And I used to think you still had some semblance of control." Andromeda snaps at him, "just because he is Remus's son. Do you ask him to look like Remus too?" Sirius has the urge to throw something at someone at that accusation.  
  
"Shut up, Andromeda. You don't know anything about us," he finds himself shouting; he has never, never done anything even if the thought had crossed his mind a long time ago when they hadn't been what they are now.  
  
"I don't need to know about the two of you, Sirius," Andromeda says coldly, "it is always so easy for you, coming back in, always taking what you want, not caring about who pays for the consequences."  
  
"I loved him," is all Sirius says fiercely because she of all people should understand that and why Sirius will never hurt Teddy if he can help. But Andromeda looks at him with a sort of anger that Sirius has not been confronted with since his encounter with his mother when he had been sixteen.  
  
"So did my daughter, Sirius," she tells him softly, "and all the time, he never loved her because he was too wrapped up in loving somebody who was supposedly dead." She steps close to Sirius, her anger now mixed with resentment, an expression he had never thought would be directed at him, "he wasn't even really alive, not until Teddy was born. Dora deserved better than that."  
  
"What—what do you mean he wasn't alive, Andromeda?" Sirius cannot help asking and the woman looks like she will not be answering but then she looks away.  
  
"He was like a dead man walking, always working away on things he did not even talk to Dora about. And now you've got Teddy." Her mouth trembles for a second, "What will happen to him when you are gone this time, Sirius?" Sirius stares at her, shocked that she would say something like that.  
  
"I'm not in this to just _leave_. What do you think—"  
  
"Don't you go saying that to me, Sirius." Andromeda shouts at him finally, losing her composure, "You leave, you always leave. You left Remus and look where that got him? I'm not going to let Teddy fall into this too. You need to let him go and be with somebody he can rely on to be there for him." Sirius has had enough though and they glare at one another before he turns on his heel and heads for the house.  
  
"Teddy! Ted, we're leaving." Teddy abandons his cup of tea and some of the others look up from around a game of chess at Sirius's loud voice.  
  
"Alright?" Teddy mouths at him when he sees the mad look in his eyes. Sirius shakes his head and Teddy slips his hand into his, "Let's get going then." He is about to bid farewell to everyone when his grandmother strides into the room and walks right up to him.  
  
"Teddy, I will take you back to your home tonight."  
  
"No, you won't—"  
  
"Oh, do be quiet, Sirius. This isn't—"  
  
"Stop it! Both of you." Teddy interrupts their raging argument. They stop but continue looking at each other as if about to hex the other. Shit! "Gramma, please, can we do this calmly?"  
  
"No." Andromeda continues looking at Sirius and places a hand on Teddy's arm, "You don't have to go with Sirius."  
  
"He doesn't have to, Andie," Sirius replies with a smirk, "but he wants to. Stop treating him like a child." That earns him a smile from Teddy who immediately realises what he is doing and places a soothing hand on his grandmother's shoulder.  
  
"Look, he is right. I want this. I know you're worried, but please." He steps forward before she can get another word out and kisses her forehead, "I'll see you soon. Take care, okay? Yes, I love you too," he adds when she tries to start again and before anyone can say anything, he grabs Sirius's hand and Apparates into Sirius's house.  
  
"God, that did not go so well. But hey, it wasn't all that bad was it?" Teddy grins as he activates the cooling charms, "Except Victoire, that girl is really—hey, Sirius?" he stops talking when he turns back to see Sirius sitting on the edge of his sofa dejectedly. "Hey, come on, Padfoot. What just happened?" Sirius does not say anything and instead leans back into the sofa and closes his eyes, as if exhausted. Teddy can see the downward tug of his mouth and takes a seat beside him.  
  
"Did Gramma say something to you?" Sirius swallows and Teddy has a sudden flicker of annoyance at his grandmother, "come on, it can't be that bad—" Sirius's laugh startles him.  
  
"Not bad? Oh, Teddy, you have no idea." He looks at him with a melancholy expression, "she told me about Moony, about how he practically stopped living after I ‘supposedly died'." Teddy grows nervous at that; Sirius _had_ died.  
  
"Sirius," Teddy says quietly but the other man seems to not have heard him.  
  
"She wants to protect you from me, and she is right about it. I'll end up doing something terrible again and then hurt you even if I don't want to because fuck, that's just what I do. Fuck things up royally." He laughs again and Teddy grows concerned.  
  
"Don't say that, Sirius," he says calmly but Sirius looks at him with that anguished look again.  
  
"Go. You should go before I end up killing you too." He is practically hysterical.  
  
"Sirius. Padfoot, don't be stupid. I wouldn't leave you for the world," Teddy says and it feels like a declaration of his love because he does mean it, every word of it. "Dad loved you; it only makes sense for him to go through that kind of depression."  
  
"But I was gone, Teddy. I was dead, I know it," Sirius whispers, "he knew that, I—I would have wanted him to move on, to live on even when I wasn't there." His father had moved on or at least tried to but those words do hurt Teddy; he wonders if Sirius will ever actually love him that strongly. "It's not fair, I shouldn't even be here, I should be dead." Teddy wraps his arms around his torso automatically.  
  
"Stop it, Sirius. You are here because you belong here." His arms tighten their hold when Sirius does not return the embrace. "D—dad would have been glad that you're here, he would have been so happy to see you alive."  
  
"You don't know that, Ted," Sirius says in a hollow tone, "we will never know what Remus would have wanted." But Teddy does, he knows and he can never let Sirius know about Remus's sacrifice.  
  
"I do know, Sirius. Because—because he felt the way I do," Teddy whispers bravely as he holds Sirius, heart in his throat, "because I love you, and I would have wanted you to live no matter what." There is a deafening silence in which Teddy's heart beats against Sirius's chest and they are still. Then Sirius's arms come up and wrap themselves around him as he pulls his head back to look at Teddy, a strange look in his eyes.  
  
"You—" He breaks off and slides a hand under his shirt and traces his spine up, "you're really something else, you know." He says it in a way that is not condescending; there is something in his tone, like wonder and disbelief and something lighter.  
  
He pulls Teddy closer and traces his brow-bone, the slant of his nose, the curve below his nose and his lips that automatically part and he guides his thumb into his mouth where the werewolf sucks on it with his eyes closed as if Sirius—old as he is—is the headiest flavour he has ever tasted. Sirius wonders if Teddy is out to prove a point as his hands move over him in deliberate touches and strong clutches.  
  
"Stop thinking so much," Teddy chides him and he smiles slightly; to think that he is the one on the receiving end of that sentence. He pushes up Teddy's tee shirt and lowers his head to lick across the torso that just got finer with age and his time in the sands of Jordan. Teddy arches into his touches and Sirius grows a little more aggressive than usual as he nips and sucks on his skin. Maybe he too is out to prove that he isn't necessarily the utter bastard Andromeda makes him out to be, she hadn't needed to say the word.  
  
"I want you this time," Teddy whispers hoarsely in his ear, "in me. Can't wait." Sirius understands his urgency all too well and this is the only way he can show Teddy how much he means to him, because the words won't come out, his tongue knots fifty different ways the moment he tries to tell him of his feelings; he just… cannot do this again.  
  
"I'll ride you. Here," Teddy says, hot breath against his ear and Sirius agrees. "Please." Sirius understands and whispers the handy lubrication spell and squeezes his bottom before pushing his fingers into his tight channel that flutters around his invading digits; the Muggle way is always so much more pleasurable. Teddy lets out an uncontrolled groan that has Sirius shifting the younger man so that their leaking erections are hard against each other.  
  
He tells Teddy to climb on him and the lust addled look he receives only hastens him to spread his legs and sit back on the sofa as Teddy positions himself and lowers himself on to his cock. They both groan loudly as Sirius breaches his entrance much more smoothly than their last encounter which had been a first in months.  
  
Teddy goes slowly at first as if to savour the pleasure and their connection; to Sirius, it feels like finding home once again. With that thought, a shudder passes through Sirius's entire being and he steadies Teddy's moving hips with his hands as he begins sliding hard and fast now, helpless to stop his own movements as he keeps up a constant stream of noises and comments like _‘oh god', 'ah Sirius', 'so hot'_ and Sirius agrees with all of it as he watches the man above him come undone, the play of light on his sharp features as his hands flex on Sirius's shoulders with every movement.  
  
His eyes snap open and the feeling there, the fire in his eyes shining with more than lust has Sirius calling Teddy's name in shock as his own heart thuds in response and he is so sure that Teddy can see everything in his eyes too. Teddy pushes down and clamps around Sirius hard. His back arches and he throws his head back, his throat bared as he sighs in completion despite the depth of passion as if he is finally satiated.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
His father's diary is the root cause of all trouble, Teddy thinks miserably as he eyes the book sitting innocently at the spot near the window where he had flung it two days ago when he had come inside his room with plans of going out for dinner only to find Sirius sitting with a devastated look, the diary open in his hands.  
  
Nothing Teddy had said had stopped Sirius from leaving in a frenzy, something dark behind his eyes and his voice loaded with anguish and anger. Teddy had always laughed at the thought of the Black madness, it isn't so funny anymore.  
  
Then two days turn to a week and Teddy goes too far with his morphing. He knows that yet it doesn't stop him from strengthening his chin just a bit and changing his hair. Subtle changes but ones that make him look just like the man in the picture at a glance.  
  
He Apparates to the alley beside ‘Black antiques' and straightens his tee shirt before striding out the alley and into the shop with a tinkling bell as he enters. He smiles at the wind chime above; it had been a present from him and Harry when Sirius had first set the shop up.  
  
Sirius comes with a smile to greet, effortlessly graceful in his movements around the objects and so very handsome, it makes Teddy's stomach flip until Sirius's smile drops.  
  
"Moony?" It's the way he whispers that has Teddy realising what an absolute mistake it had been to do this. There is a strange ache in his chest at the look that passes on Sirius's face when he thinks it is Remus in here. Not Teddy. That look is not directed at Teddy. He gives up and his features return to his usual mix of brown eyes, turquoise hair and softer face. Sirius's eyes are all Teddy needs to look at to know how angry he actually is.  
  
"I'm sorry," he blurts out. "I didn't think—"  
  
"You had no right," Sirius interrupts coldly. "That was just—just go home, Teddy." Teddy feels uncharacteristically small all of a sudden; he has never been on the receiving end of Sirius's anger to this extent. He can see the trembling of his hands.  
  
"Sirius. Look." Teddy makes his way towards the older man in between the aisle as he rushes into whatever explanation comes to his mind. "I shouldn't have done that; it was a stupid thing to—" The shatter of ceramic as Teddy bumps accidentally into a vase resounds around them and they freeze.  
  
Teddy's heart thunders in his chest as fear of some kind claws at his heart when Sirius's eyes are glued on the intricate patterns of the broken ceramic. _Oh Merlin!_ Sirius doesn't say anything as he mutters a _‘Reparo'_ and pushes his hair back as if to hold his anger in; Teddy can see it in the way his hands grip his dark hair.  
  
"I'm sorry," Teddy finds himself saying because he really is. Sirius however does not seem to acknowledge it and instead Teddy finds himself on the end of a blazing look full of anger and disappointment.  
  
"Child, you're still such a bloody _child_." The way he spits the word out has never sounded so offensive to Teddy before. "Go home," he adds.  
  
Teddy flees the shop and when he reaches his room, he collapses on his bed feeling hollow and worn out because he is terrified that something has broken between them and no amount of _‘Reparo'_ is going to fix it.  


 

*

  
  
Sirius has known all along what a terrible mistake it had been to get involved with Teddy in the first place. God, it isn't even the tiny portion of Remus in him, but all Teddy that has him enamoured, for lack of a better word.  
  
Almost four days later, two days before the full moon, the ringing of bell on Sirius's doorstep startles him and he stretches before getting up from his chair to open the door. A few feet away from the door itself he has some idea of who it might be and he hesitates for a beat or two before cursing himself and opening the door to reveal a tired looking Teddy. He remains silent as he stares at him, heart aching to hold him.  
  
"Can I come inside? I need to talk to you," Teddy says finally and Sirius steps away to let him inside the house. Sirius tries not to think about the last time they had been together in here. They reach Sirius's office and Sirius goes behind his desk to allow some distance between them.  
  
"So…it's been a while, yeah?" Teddy tries but Sirius remains stony.  
  
"Yes, it has. Get to the point, Teddy. What do you really want?" Teddy's expression morphs into slight despair at his attitude and his hair begins to turn brown which stops midway before Teddy seemingly forces it to return to its turquoise shade. He looks so young; he _is_ so young.  
  
"I—I just wanted to know if you'll be coming on Wednesday," he asks finally and Sirius decides to give him a break.  
  
"Of course I'll be there. Whatever happens between us, you know I wouldn't do that to you, Teddy." Teddy looks relieved to hear that but also hesitant about something else. Sirius can see the decision warring on his features before he straightens and looks at Sirius directly.  
  
"Okay, so tell me, what _is_ happening between us now, Sirius?" Teddy is suddenly transformed into his usual, youthful, unbreakable self and Sirius realises that he cannot send him away this time.  
  
"I think," Sirius starts carefully as he goes through what he has been thinking since that day at his shop, "I think what we did was a mistake, Teddy. You were young and I took advantage of your attraction." Teddy looks gob smacked before he recovers and slams his hands on Sirius's mahogany table. Sirius winces inside.  
  
"Mistake? You're going to make years of our relationship sound like—like some kind of a joke? Are you bloody kidding me?" Sirius thinks he is doing a good job of keeping his cool in face of Teddy's loss of temper; it's oddly easy to be the adult one.  
  
"It's not a joke, Teddy. But you have to admit that we were better as friends than whatever we became." Sirius's mouth is pretty much running off its own course, _this_ is what is a mistake but it is the only way to save Teddy from a painful heartbreak.  
  
What a lie; _he_ is the one that cannot handle another heartbreak in his life.  
  
"You mean ‘lovers'?" Teddy throws back without missing a beat, "is that the word you can't find in your vocabulary? This is just—" he throws his hands up in frustration as he breaks off.  
  
"Pointless? Unnecessary? Teddy, I've told you what I think. You should go home and rest before the—"  
  
"Don't tell me off like I'm a child!" Teddy shouts now, he has angry tears in his eyes as he looks at Sirius but there is also an edge of desperation in his voice. He is so young, Sirius is reminded again. "What about what I think, Sirius? _Two years_ , Sirius. That's a long time for anybody. You can't just disregard us like this. I—" Sirius swallows around the ache in his throat and interrupts before Teddy can continue.  
  
"Two years isn't a long time for everyone." Sirius has been called cruel often but this is one of his rarer moments when he realises that people weren't lying after all. The effect his words have on Teddy is instantaneous. He blinks once, closes his mouth, hardens his jaws and steps back with a blazing look full of so much hurt that Sirius curls his fingers into his palm to keep himself from ruining everything he has just done.  
  
Teddy's mouth curls into a sneer, "Good to know what you think, _Sirius_." He storms away and slams the door on his way. It is for the best.  


 

*

  
  
He is giving the excuse of his job but inside, he knows he is actually running away for the first time, because he feels hopeless, broken-hearted and almost wishing he had never known what loving Sirius was like. Then to have him actually accompany him during the full moon and patching him up even though Teddy can take care of himself and then leaving before he had woken up said everything that Teddy needs to know.  
  
He packs more of his clothes this time, not sure when he will be ready to come back. Victoire is still playing the part of a jilted lover since his coming out with Sirius and the loss of her friendship hurts, to be honest. Aunt Fleur is not any more welcoming than her daughter.  
  
Harry has constantly been telling him to keep in touch and the like, as if sensing Teddy's unspoken decision and he really does feel awful about it all but then, Harry has a family to anchor him; Teddy has only himself. Gramma does not really count, he can't just go running back to her, not after the way Teddy has hurt her with his affair with Sirius.  
  
He sits on the edge of his bed for a minute's break when, as if reading his mind, his father's diary seems to have come out of nowhere, peeking out beneath his dressing table. Teddy reaches down to extract it and remains sitting on the ground as he runs his fingers over the leather cover, feeling the weight of all its secrets in his hand. He contemplates burning the damn book for all the trouble it has caused.  
  
Teddy leaves the next day—a day earlier than scheduled—on a Muggle plane to Amman, his handbag full of necessities where he slips his father's diary. For all that it is worth; he cannot bring himself to part with this one tangible piece of his father's.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Hermione explains it to him, explains reasonably that Remus had not actually sacrificed himself, he had died in battle and Sirius's life had come back in that exchange.  
  
But none of that dull the edges of Sirius's depression that lasts for a long time. He cuts himself off from Harry and his happy family; he can't bear to be near everybody. The pitying looks, the worried glances and tiptoeing around the topic of either Remus or Teddy has Sirius flying away to avoid everyone he knows.  
  
Teddy finds himself delving into his work with the sole focus of losing himself in it. The heat, the sand and their new dig has him occupied. It's good this way.  
  
Teddy gets called by a bark from Marfain, his supervisor and he is introduced to a new recruit—Essam— and instructed to break him in. Teddy is shocked to be handed such a responsibility and frankly annoyed enough to refuse him. But then Marfain drops a line about a promotion and Teddy holds himself back. He grudgingly shows Essam around.  
  
"This is hard work, yes?" the boy pants out of breath, "but this is good, I may have a body like you now." Teddy raises an eyebrow as he takes in the boy's appearance and is pleasantly surprised to find that his dark complexion is actually very attractive. He also finds the way he pronounces ‘this' as ‘zis' very likeable for some reason.  
  
"Why do you say that?" Teddy asks curiously, watching him, "do you like what you see?" Essam blushes.  
  
"Yes, very much." Teddy pats him on the shoulder and moves on to further explanation of the collected artefacts. Fuck Sirius, he is going to move past him. And fast.  


 

\--------------------------------

  
  
Things haven't changed all that much since the last time Teddy has been to London. Maybe the Muggles have, just like their counterparts in the Middle East; their fingers are glued to their slim phones more than their partners beside them. Two years and Teddy's phone looks so out-dated, he shakes his head lightly as he drops the device into his pocket.  
  
He finds a suitable nook in an alley and Apparates to his old flat. His feet touch the ground and he is hit with the silence of his flat and he notices how dust-free the place is. He realises that somebody had been cleaning it up after all; somebody cared enough to think that he would come home at some point.  
  
He feels oddly tired as heavy silence weighs down on him; he feels detached, alone and far away from his family in this little flat in London. He trudges all the way to his room before falling into deep sleep.  


 

*

  
  
Harry opens the box with shaky hands and peers inside to see it looking harmless and ordinary. But he knows the power of it, knows what it can do. The black stone is tempting, so very tempting that he has to keep the damned thing locked both with blood magic and Muggle padlocks.  
  
Why had he taken it? Why go through all the trouble of scouring it in the forest and not tell a soul about it? Why hold on to it in the first place? Because it had given him hope. He remembers the devastated feeling when it had been just Remus beside his parents but immediately following that had been hope, hope because if Sirius was not there then surely it meant that...  
  
And now it is time that the same stone gave hope to somebody else.  


 

*

  
  
"Teddy's here, you know?" young Molly tells Sirius conversationally and he almost gasps. Almost.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said—"  
  
"I heard you," Sirius interrupts snappishly, unable to believe his ears that Teddy is back in England. Is it normal for his palms to suddenly turn clammy or his heart to start thudding like a caged bird?  
  
"So, what are you gonna do about it?" she asks curiously and Sirius stares her down, sort of; the Weasley women are just too unafraid of everything. He should have thought twice before giving the girl a job but then she had needed the ‘internship' and he has a reputable business. And he is just too bloody nice now.  
  
" _I_ am not going to do anything," Sirius tells her sternly, " _we_ , as in everybody is going to see him one of these days and we're not going to speak of anything unnecessary. Understood?" Molly narrows her eyes.  
  
"You can't tell me what to do," she replies and picks up the notebook in front of her, "but I think you should talk to him."  
  
"I don't care much for what you think, Molly," Sirius snaps at her and rubs his forehead. He opens his glasses and stands up. "Take the day off after you've finished that letter." Molly looks up at him in surprise and he leaves with a smile, an attempt at apology.  
  
"Men," he hears Molly muttering under her breath as he leaves his office for a hard drink.  


 

*

  
  
May 2nd is a day that has become a day of celebration and parading in costumes that look like Teddy's godfather. The Wizarding world participates in it enthusiastically. However Teddy sits on his sofa gazing into nothingness, his father's diary a few feet away on the coffee table untouched in years.  
  
He should go visit his parents' graves but the thought of seeing his father's grave drudges up bitter thoughts and memories he does not want to deal with. The doorbell rings startling him.  
  
"Harry!" Teddy smiles at his godfather when he opens the door and pulls him into a hug. "Come on in, I was planning on dropping by at yours later. How's everyone?" Harry falls into step beside Teddy as they make their way to the living room.  
  
"They're good. Albus has finally hit his growth spurt," he tells Teddy with a small smile but Teddy can see that something is off from the way he is shifting; his godfather never lost that habit.  
  
"What's up?" he asks in a neutral voice and Harry runs a hand through his hair before drawing something out of his pocket. It is a small box. His brows rise.  
  
"Harry, what's that?"  
  
"Teddy," Harry says in a quiet voice, "this--this is something I should have given you a long time back. Something that might have saved both you and Sirius all the heartbreak. " Hearing Sirius's name is like a punch to the gut.  
  
_'Stop it, Teddy. Bloody stop it already!'_ Sirius is old story, a chapter of his life that he has closed.  
  
"I don't want it," he says in a hard tone and Harry looks at him before stroking the box absent-mindedly.  
  
"I've never told you about your dad, have I? About what he said after he died." Teddy laughs.  
  
"That's not funny, that's just not funny at all, Harry." He turns away, bitterness rising up inside, "you might be 'Harry Potter' but even you can't talk to the dead." That just isn't possible. He expects his godfather to sigh and leave but instead he hears the click of the box being placed on the wooden coffee table and turns back to face him.  
  
"That's where you're wrong, Teddy," Harry says in a patient tone, "that's what I thought until...never mind. I didn't want to give this to you, it's so tempting, Teddy." He looks down at the box with a heavy stare full of sad ache. "I think about taking it out, just once, one more time to see them, but I don't." He looks at Teddy straight in the eye and he feels the speech leave him because Harry does not look like somebody joking about this.  
  
"That's..."  
  
"Just, promise me you won't get too caught up in it," Harry tells him fiercely and Teddy nods as his godfather leaves and he is left standing in the afternoon light with a small box that holds a forbidden artefact. His curiosity pulls his hands towards the little black box and he finds himself opening the lid with a whispered _Alohomora_.  
  
He takes out the black stone with engravings on it and turns to see all of it in his hand.  
  
Nothing happens for a second and then he feels the atmosphere around him changing, something magical, unfamiliar and out of habit a non-verbal _Protego_ is already cast. He has to blink a few times to steady himself as he looks in front of him.  
  
"Dad…?" Teddy's voice trails off as he stares at the pale apparition in his living room—in his bloody house! The ghost—or whatever it is smiles benignly and tilts his head slightly.  
  
"Teddy," he says. His voice is mellow, not like Sirius's; it has a soothing cadence to it, the kind which is perfect for reading bedtime stories. Teddy cannot help staring, his throat has closed up and all he can do is take the image of his father in—his old-fashioned sweater, his light hair and his eyes just like his.  
  
"I'm crazy, I've gone mad," Teddy whispers as he turns away, his heart kicking up a notch and palms sweating suddenly. What the hell has Harry given to him?  
  
"You aren't, actually," the apparition— _his father, Remus Lupin_ —tells him and Teddy looks back at him, still looking harmless. "I suppose Harry hasn't explained anything about the Resurrection Stone." Teddy can barely manage to reply.  
  
"He hasn't," he says anyway and falls back on to the sofa behind him as his legs give out, "you're dead," he looks up to confirm. Remus smiles sadly at him.  
  
"I am," he affirms and Teddy rubs his face.  
  
"Fuck me," he says without thinking and is surprised when Remus chuckles in that melodious tone.  
  
"I doubt Sirius would appreciate it much—or any of us would—but Padfoot is a bit of a possessive dog."  
  
When Teddy thinks of his mother, there is more of a sweet but sad ache, knowing that she had fought for this world and that he will never see her beautiful face. It is different with his father though. He closes his eyes to stop the flow of tears; somehow even in death, his father has always managed to soothe him, hurt him, intrude in his life and make him feel so strongly that it almost feels like he has been really watching over him.  
  
"I'm so proud of you, Teddy," the apparition whispers and Teddy stares at the beaming smile, "you've always been so strong, despite everything."  
  
"You've been watching over me?" Teddy asks in a low voice, to preserve the quiet and receives a nod. "It's so unfair," he says to his father before he can stop himself, "you had them—both of them—Mum...Sirius."  
  
"And you," the thing—his father says and Teddy shakes his head.  
  
"Didn't matter, you still went and died to save Sirius," he replies without looking at the ghost-thing as the bitter feelings surface up.  
  
"I didn't die for him, Teddy. I did it because I love you and there was no other choice," he replies hoarsely,  
  
"No," Teddy says shakily, "how can you possibly say that when you don't even know me? When you went and killed yourself for another man without even-without even thinking about me...not even once." Vaguely Teddy realises that without meaning to he has just poured out every bitter thought and word that he has repressed deep inside.  
  
"Fuck you and your lies," he says when Remus does not say anything, "nothing but a ghost, you're not even real." Something flickers in Remus's features then.  
  
"And do you honestly believe that I would not be real if I could? That I would not be here, with you if it was in my hands? If I could—"  
  
"You wouldn't change a thing," Teddy says harshly. "You'd still have gone and sacrificed yourself for Sirius." He looks at the apparition challengingly who remains silent. Teddy makes a disgusted noise.  
  
"Then there is nothing more to talk about, is there?" He steps forward to place the stone back where the god dammed thing came from.  
  
"Teddy, I am sorry," Remus says and the only reason Teddy looks up at him is because of the raw angst in his voice.  
  
"Sorry for what?" he asks calmly, one hand hovering above the box even as the other held on to the stone tightly.  
  
"Sorry that I never got to see you grow up," Remus tells him, "sorry that I wasn't there in your most difficult times, that you never had a mother, that you - that you've had to become a werewolf because of me." Teddy moves his hand away from the box as he witnesses his father's apparition closing his eyes against what can only be tears.  
  
"Aren't you sorry that I didn't have a father?" Teddy asks him and Remus looks at him with a cynical smile.  
  
"Are you? Nobody wants a werewolf for a father, Teddy. And if I had been alive, you would have come to hate me for passing my curse onto you."  
  
"That's not true," Teddy says as he straightens and looks at Remus directly, "I would have taken any father over none any day. I would have-" he breaks off when he realises that he has tears running down his cheeks. He swipes at them angrily.  
  
"I couldn't let you grow up in a world like ours, Teddy," Remus tells him, his own voice breaking, "everyday was war and death of the people we cared about. I couldn't do that to you. I had to fight so you wouldn't be living in fear every day, so you could have the life you deserve. "Teddy knows all of this, he has heard it all and deep down, he knows that the diary has tainted his beliefs of his father. Suddenly he feels drained and he sits down.  
  
"I just wish you didn't have to die…either of you," Teddy says finally as he swallows, every memory without his parents crashing down on him-his birthdays, his first day of school, his first broom-ride, his first Quidditch victory, that time in fifth year when he had begun noticing boys and wondering if there was something wrong with him; the list is just too long.  
  
"I know," Remus agrees, "but it would have happened. Trading for Sirius's life was a chance, Teddy. I'm glad that he got to live, I can't be sorry about that."  
  
"I—" Teddy bites his lip, "—are you glad that Sirius and I—we—"  
  
"Found each other?" Remus asks and Teddy nods. Remus smiles, "Yes, yes I am, Teddy. I always worried about him you know, more than anybody else. Sirius can be so fragile sometimes." Teddy nods in understanding. "He needs the love, Teddy. You, Harry, everybody."  
  
"I don't think he needs my love all that much," Teddy admits glumly. "'Not a long time', he said," he tells his father, "you've had what—seven years? Or twenty? I guess it never stopped for either of you." He tightens his arms around himself as he feels his father's gaze on him, "I can't compete with that, dad. I just can't. "  
  
Teddy knows he sounds probably desperate but it is just the two of them. He knows Sirius cares or at least used to but God, he just...still loves him so much.  
  
_Look at you; so young and stupidly romantic._  
  
"Sirius has a big heart, Teddy," his father tells him and Teddy stares in awe when the apparition sits down beside him, his ethereal form so warm. "It is possible for him to love you just as much as you do him." Teddy mulls it over in his head.  
  
"You really think so?" he asks, "d'you really think he could ever love me the way he loves you?" Remus smiles at him and places a pearly hand on the side of his face.  
  
"If not as much, maybe more so," he says, honesty laced in his voice, "you're not me, but you give him a reason to live. I think that counts for something, don't you?" It feels an epiphany; all this time he has been comparing him and Sirius to his father and Sirius when they weren't even the same thing.  
  
"What if he doesn't want me anymore?" Teddy asks, openly nervous but Remus looks calm.  
  
"Then you'll find a way to make things work out, won't you? You said you love him," he adds in a tone that Teddy will not go against.  
  
"I do! That's why I'm going to get him back," Teddy says fiercely and looks into his father's eyes that are twinkling. Maybe if Sirius sees him…  
  
"Do you—"  
  
"No," his father shakes his head, "the dead have no place here, Teddy. I'm going to have to go. Sirius is yours now. Take care of him, Teddy," he adds in a heartfelt tone. Teddy can feel the tears in the corners of his eyes as he retrieves the box and grips the stone tightly.  
  
"One last time, tell me. You really do love me, don't you, dad?" He sees his own tears reflected in his father's eyes.  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"More than anything in the world?" Teddy can't help asking childishly.  
  
"More than anything," Remus repeats as tears fall down his cheeks and then—  
  
"Even more than Sirius?" Teddy bites his lip as the stone digs imprints into his palm.  
  
"More than Sirius," his father tells him and Teddy nods, stepping forward to have his hand run through his father's apparition. He draws back his hand and looks down at the box before releasing the stone.  
  
He stands alone in his house; the sound of the world surrounding him once more and Teddy allows himself to cry.  


 

*

  
  
Sirius stares at the graves in front of him, feet rooted to the spot. He should go before someone comes to pay their respects. Teddy will come here; no doubt about it and they should not see each other until it becomes inevitable.  
  
He turns away, the ache in his back making him feel far more ancient than he has a right to. Teddy can do so much better than him—with all his baggage and burdens. His footsteps freeze however when the wind picks up and a familiar scent hits him. He panics slightly before composing himself; he will just exchange pleasantries and leave.  
  
"I thought you'd be here," is the first thing Teddy says to him in two years. Two bloody long years and Sirius finally looks at him. His heart stutters for a second at how good-looking Teddy is; maturity looks wonderful on him.  
  
"Hello to you too, Teddy," Sirius replies, trying for easy conversation as he continues staring at the young man and his body begins remembering things from their time together. He clears his throat, "I was just leaving, this place is all yours." He steps around Teddy, careful not to touch him as he shoves his hands in his pockets. He is almost successful in making an easy exit when Teddy places a hand on his shoulder and he almost shivers.  
  
"Sirius," Teddy says in a soft but commanding tone. He almost flinches when he sees Sirius's dull grey eyes. "You aren't leaving, not without hearing me out." Sirius turns to face him but continues looking at a spot on his shoulder; Merlin, it is just so hard to not hold the other man.  
  
"I love you," Teddy says in a determined voice and Sirius's gaze snaps to his face, "I thought I could try to do something about it but—" he takes a deep breath, "—I'm not going to, I'm not running away from this—us." He steps into Sirius's personal space and places a hand on Sirius's chest.  
  
"Ted—"  
  
"We were good, Sirius," Teddy interrupts, "I don't know why you tried so hard to end things between us but you have to stop. This isn't just about you. Give this a chance. Please." Sirius shivers this time from the sheer amount of emotion coursing through him at Teddy's insistence; his resolve is crumbling away faster than a train.  
  
"I'm damaged, Teddy," he says finally, "too old for you—"  
  
"Don't try that with me, Sirius," Teddy says fiercely as he takes hold of Sirius's face in both his hands, "if our age gap was a problem, we wouldn't have been together in the first place." He rubs the side of Sirius's face with its stubble, gaze softening, "What we had…it was everything, Sirius. For me, it was." Sirius finds himself holding Teddy's hand and pulling it away from his face to thread their fingers together.  
  
"It meant a lot to me too, Teddy," Sirius admits and Teddy smiles. Sirius waits a second and then pushes him away with a heavy gaze, his eyes shining. Teddy looks confused for a second but Sirius speaks up before he can.  
  
"I'll always love him, Teddy; a part of me will always love Remus," he says softly but in a tone that leaves no room for argument and Teddy closes his eyes once before replying.  
  
"I know," he says and his voice breaks. He cannot help admitting it to himself that Sirius's words do hurt, so much. "But I want you, even a little of you. I'm not my dad but I just—" His palms curl upon themselves and before Sirius can stop himself he takes hold of Teddy by his blazer and just holds him in place.  
  
"I don't want you to be Moony. You—" he pulls Teddy closer to him and reaches up with one hand to stroke his bottom lip, "—you're extraordinary, you know that, right?" Sirius leans in and presses a soft kiss to his lips, "I've been a fool, an absolute idiot—"  
  
"You're only realising it now?" Teddy manages to whisper as his heart races in hopeful bursts but Sirius keeps talking as if he cannot stop the flow of his words.  
  
"—I love you, Ted. I've loved you since— I don't even know when but I should have stopped you—"  
  
"Sirius, it's okay—"  
  
"No! It's not; I shouldn't have been such a berk about it and instead admitted that I was already head over heels for you." Sirius is panting by the time he finishes and apparently he too feels like Teddy because they both lean forward and meet halfway.  
  
Everything falls into place and Teddy sighs as Sirius's familiar lips find his and he reaches around to grip Sirius's hair tight in his hand to make sure that they don't part. Not again.  
He feels a hint of tongue against the seam of his lips and complies but Sirius pulls away, breathlessly, life back in his eyes.  
  
"Not here," he says softly and Teddy blinks before his surroundings dawn on him.  
  
"Yeah, let's…wait a second," he says quietly as he turns back to face the three graves. Sirius squeezes his hand and he returns it before facing his father's grave. Sirius leaves to give him space.  
  
"Dad," Teddy starts and there is so much to say but he can't settle on any one so he kneels in front of it and places a hand on the headstone and whispers two words.  
  
"Thank you." His throat closes up and then he turns back to join Sirius at the gate.  
  
"Alright?" the older man asks him and Teddy nods, slipping his hand in his.  
  
"Yeah, never been better." They will find a way to make it work.


End file.
